Put Your Eye of the Tiger Face On

I went to get my nails “did” last week…NBD (that stands for no big deal, for those my age who don’t know ;) The woman who was doing my nails spoke broken english as we started chatting. I admired her beautiful silver necklace.  Her husband was French and he bought it for her in France.  She had no idea but my daughter and I were planning a trip to France the following week so I got this tingly deja vú feeling.  God alerts me in special ways to opportunities and I felt an unexplainable connection with this woman.  It was a divine appointment and I could either be “present” and aware of what He was doing, or sleep through it and focus on ME ME ME and my nails and God would have been okay with that…but He trusts me with this stuff and I want to see these things through.  It brings me joy to see people free. I asked her if she had any children. She said, “I had a daughter.”  Had?  I asked her if her daughter had gone to heaven and the sadness was written on her face as she looked down and nodded.  It was the 5 year anniversary of her daughter’s death that week. She explained that her daughter had a heart defect and had died at four years old.  Her little one died just two months shy of the surgery scheduled to correct the defect. I could feel the pain in her heart and said, “I’m so so sorry you had to endure that…losing your precious child.” I mean how do you ever get over that??? She and I both sat across from each other and cried right there together.  She held my hand as I patted her with my free hand. Neither of us could wipe our snot or tears, but it was a connection. God was doing something. Honestly, she did a pretty terrible job on my nails ;) but when we parted ways she and I embraced and she wouldn’t let me go.  Audrey Assad wrote, “Pain is a forest we all get lost in.”  Understandably so, this woman was lost in her pain… so visible so real that it broke my heart. What I didn't tell her:  God needed your child to be another angel...She's with God so you should be okay...It's been five years let it go.  Never underestimate the power of a hug. I felt like God was healing her heart in our hug.  It had been five years and it was time for her to believe that life could be good again.  

In the movie Bridesmaids, Annie (Kristin Wiig) and Megan (played by Melissa McCarthy) meet at a wedding shower for a mutual friend.  They have an interesting and comical first conversation about a fairly crappy situation.
Annie:  How are you?
Megan:  I’m on the mend… fell off a cruise ship.
Annie: oh ‘bleep’
Megan:  yeah oh ‘bleep’, took a hard, hard violent fall (off the ship)…kind of pin balled down.  Hit a lot of railings.  Broke a lot of ‘bleep’…I met a dolphin down there and i swear to God that dolphin looked right at me not at me but into my…soul…the dolphin said “I’m saving you, Megan,” not with his mouth but he said it, I'm assuming, telepathically. We had a connection that I don’t even know if I can explain.”

As funny as that is there is a parallel in life with those hurting. Jesus sends His messengers like the dolphin to go into the deep so they don’t drown in their sorrows.  We can remind people that life can be good again.  We can offer that hope and it’s their choice to take it.

There is a connection spiritually for those who have suffered through a dark night of the soul.  I look into their eyes and I see a kindness and compassion…a knowing.  They have the eyes of Jesus. “Deep waters call out to what is deeper still; at the roar of your waterfalls all your breakers and your waves swirled over me,” written by Kind David. My deep calls out to their deep and says “I see your pain.  My heart hurts with you. I’m sorry that you had to go through that.  Jesus suffered too and can take your pain into His body.”  It’s like we recognize the badge of courage and medal of honor in each other known only to those who have taken one for the team for the sake of the Kingdom.  A lot of these “deep” warriors don’t even know Jesus yet, but I sense His Spirit in them. They may not realize it, but their suffering has spiritually connected them to their Savior who endured so much suffering that He cried drops of blood..

PAIN FEELS YUCKY! 
I mean who likes pain? We avoid it.  We fear it.  I filled myself with a lot of things because of the scars of physical and emotional pain and never wanting to experience it again.  I did things to cope with the trauma of it.  I had a tremendous amount of fear.  I could not stand to be alone.  The anxiety would overwhelm me and I would have panic attacks at night when I was alone. For years I asked God why I had to endure physical and emotional abuse. “If you would just tell me why, God, I could accept it.” But He never did and that really hurt.  When I finally gave up my reason to know why, I finally felt peace but it took me many years to lay that at His feet and trust that He loved me and had not forsaken me. King David who was a man after God’s own heart lamented to God, “My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long,  “Where is your God?…I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?…These things I remember as I pour out my soul…”  

There’s something about suffering that guts us like a deer on the hook and leaves us empty to be filled with something….anything… questioning and trying to reconcile this life…Wondering WHY? WHY ME? Are you real, God? Am I unlovable?  Did I do something wrong?  Am I forgotten? I walked away from my struggles believing for a long time that God was real but there was something wrong with me.  I became very hard hearted and lived a tormented life for many years.  Life is by NO MEANS perfect for me now AT ALL but I am never alone.  I have peace.  My heart is soft. God promises never to leave me.  I think He suffered with me during the hard times. 

We can fill our emptiness with anger or addiction so we don’t have to hurt anymore.  We decide that we will always remain in control which is impossible.  Our hearts can become like the scorched earth-dry, brittle, hard and there is no real growth.  We can't let anyone in because they might hurt us too.  Still others lay down and let the suffering make them a victim.    

It’s a war out there y’all.  I've struggled with migraines for several years now so it can be physical pain or emotional pain. Either way the pain is real.  It can be like a sucker punch to the gonads.  It can lay us out on the mat, down for the count, barely breathing with all hope lost when the blessed bell rings signaling the end of a rough round and a momentary reprieve from the pain.  The break allows us to stagger up and catch our breath to be encouraged in our corner revived with strength from our Coach.  Anyone who has watched Rocky (so basically everyone ;) knows that our enemy usually seems bigger and stronger like that Aryan looking Russian guy Rocky faced whose name escapes me. Let’s call him Vladimir.  Vlad was a machine:  stronger, taller, probably on steroids and he was trained to kill.  Such an unfair fight… BUT Rocky had HEART.  You, my friend, have heart and God is on your side.  He works all things together for good.  Sometimes we won’t realize the “good” part until we are by His side in Heaven.  If you are currently feeling like Vlad gave you a right hook with a 2x4 (his fist) then know this:  we’re going to have to take some punches below the belt, have a few black eyes, bloody noses in this life if we are going to survive the full ten rounds.  No it’s not fair but you can come back out swinging and stronger for it if you choose to. Paul said at the end of his life, “I have fought the good fight of faith.  I have finished the race.”   Will you rise up and give the devil his due?  Jesus is with you (hey that rhymes :) 

Rocky was right when he said: “The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you're hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward…” #eyeofthetiger

Encouraging my fellow “deep” warriors: Keep moving forward and “don’t stop believing.  Hold on to that feeling!”~Journey

There are perks to pain though. Though we may never know why the pit bull of pain had to bite them, God doesn't leave us without help.    I’ve been keeping up with the doctor who was afflicted with the Ebola virus.  We finally got him back to the States and he is receiving the best care available.  God is like that.  He doesn’t leave us stranded.  If we cry out to Him, He will bring us back to safety, nurture and care for us like no other.  He is the only One who can heal us but it's up to us to believe.  Once healed by Him, those broken places are indestructible.  He gives us a blood transfusion and we carry His immunity to the Ebola of pain to share and be used to heal others with broken hearts. 

If you need help in this area, pray this prayer with me:

God help me.

Short and sweet.  You thought it was going to be a long prayer didn't you ;)  Now wait and watch for Him to meet you right where you are.

Psalm 42: 8-9 By day the Lord directs his love,    at night his song is with me—    a prayer to the God of my life. Why, my soul, are you downcast?    Why so disturbed within me?   Put your hope in God,    for I will yet praise him,    my Savior and my God.