Protecting the Family Jewels

I was working as a flight attendant in First Class and I wasn’t feeling too hot.  It was my girl time of the month (i know TMI right off the bat) and I had a terrible headache.  Every illness seems to be exaggerated and compounded up in the air.  With shaky hands i sloshed a few drops of red wine on a “gentleman’s” tray table.  I apologized profusely and cleaned it up with my napkins.  He had dark jeans and a dark shirt so I might have missed cleaning up some of the wine.  He huffed and puffed and said “I need a wet towel” As I was going to get it for him, he dramatically threw the bathroom door open and left it open so I could see him getting his own paper towels to clean up my mess.  I felt bad.   

It’s so hurtful when you are being a servant to someone and they aren’t kind or gracious about it. He seemed to have the attitude of a grumpy old man and I know his limited patience had little to do with me. Still, it hurt because he didn’t recognize my own kindness that went into serving him even when I did not feel well.  I think a lot of mom’s could relate to that ;)  

After Sir Grumps A Lot :) left said bathroom, I went in and cried really hard.  I told God all about it as I sat on the tiny toilet. I prayed first for my heart (can’t love your neighbor if you don’t first love yourself) and then for mr. grumpy pants ;) I have no doubt that my prayers impacted and convicted the guy somehow working a way for God to speak to him.  I can honestly say I have no animosity towards him because God healed my heart right there. #notbitter #grumpycanbetransformed 

I had a lot of sympathy and felt God's love and comfort from my fellow flight attendants on the plane that day.  They first wanted to do a beat down on the guy and then they loved on me and told me, “It’s sad but you just wait a year and you will be so hardened that you won’t care…that’s how you have to be in this job.”   I want my heart to be soft as I serve others but I understood their point.  We can’t be dependent upon others approval for our happiness or sense of peace.  There are times to stand up to rude and abusive type behavior.  It’s unfortunate but the world rarely values, respects or honors servants.  Not everyone will like me or appreciate what I do for them or the fact that what I do is done in love.  

A gentle spirit rarely prevails in this world but I don’t ever want to lose it. However, don’t think I’m some sweet little angel singing sunshine and roses all day cuz I can be seriously feisty…like on the soccer field when someone tries to push me around.  Uh, no, I don’t think so.  If someone messes with my kids or any child for that matter, I will go momma bear. I’m not a push over or a victim.  My heart was hard before God touched it ten years ago and I will never go back to operating out of a hard heart.  God didn’t make us with a hard outer shell like an alligator or a leathery skin like a snake. He made us with soft skin and the ability to reach out to Him for protection and He gave us tools. If we are cut, we will bleed. I trust God to be with me always, to lead me where I need to go, to empower me with the tools I need and that He will fight my cause and He is ultimately my protector. Tools aren't for everyone...maybe you have more faith than me and don't need them, but I like my cute pink and powerful 38 Special. The tools He gives me may be as hard as nails but my heart is still as soft as a baby's butt ;)  I have the capacity to have a soft heart but He’s given me a shield to protect it and He will defend it when needed…He’s a lion like that…very protective of my heart since I’ve made the decision to soften it.  

I’ve met a lot of Christian Stepford wives and been witness to the bad fruit being out of balance causes. We continually open our hearts and give others access to our innermost selves and others use and abuse it because we've been taught to by the church.  The song by Stevie Nicks comes to mind: "Stop dragging my heart around."  God isn't setting us up to be a victim. We all need the wisdom to know what God is saying and doing…when to be soft and flow out and when to engage our impenetrable God shield to protect our soft parts.  He’s our wonder bra full of water to cushion our softies.  He’s like a guys jock strap/cup to protect the family jewels.  He’s a covering and protection for all as we let Him in. 

A lot of Christians like robots quote the verse about turning the other cheek, etc and apply it to every situation.  God has shown me that using that scripture without hearing it from Him for the specific situation promotes abuse of children and women…the weakest in society. Um, that is not God’s heart towards the weak.  In fact He said, “Hard trials and temptations are bound to come, but too bad for whoever brings them on! Better to wear a millstone necklace and take a swim in the deep blue sea than give even one of these dear little ones a hard time!” (found in Luke 11:1-2)   I turned the other cheek in this instance with the older "gentleman" so the scripture applied in that situation. I may endure suffering and slights with patience at God’s direction but I feel kind of bad for the guy after reading above scripture. #helltopaywhenyoumesswithGodskids #Godsgotmyback  

If I do "suffer" an injustice without response, it's because I CHOOSE TO and it is never in vain.  None of our suffering ever is!    This guy bruised my heart because I allowed it to be vulnerable in serving him.  There are times when I do stand up for myself and God leads me to do it and backs me up but this was not one of them.  People can spit in our face.  As we seek only to do them good, they intend to harm us but if we harden our hearts so we won’t be hurt anymore  then can love still flow out? 

Like Kenny Rogers says, “you’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away and know when to run.” ;) People who don’t treat my heart with tenderness don’t have access to it anymore until they show that they are trustworthy again.  Forgive YES Love YES but throwing my PEARLS to swine? HECK NO.  

Jesus is really good at handling grumpy old men  and protecting the family jewels;) because He only said what the Father said and He only did what He saw the Father doing.  Jesus could be both kind and gentle but but He knew when to open a can of woop a$$ ;)  He endured a lot of unjust treatment while he walked this earth. Jesus could be a real smart mouth when He confronted the religious people.  He also got so ticked off that He took the time to KNIT TOGETHER a rope/BELT and went after the guys in the temple turning their tables over.  Yet, He let the same people lead Him up a hill with a cross on his back and he didn’t say a word to them while they drove nails in his hands and feet because He knew a greater good was coming.  

Protecting the family jewels found inside our heart requires great wisdom!  When to pull back, when to move forward, when to guard our heart and when to show and share it can only be led by the One who created it. Praying that we can both reflect our Father in Heaven who is THE LION and our Savior who came to Earth as the Lamb and that we don’t harden our hearts to Him. He helps us on the journey by giving us access to His wisdom in this area.  The world will be a more beautiful place if we are able to open our hearts like a rare and fragrant flower to be seen on display when He brings His sun and water but have the wisdom to ask for Him to hide us in His strong tower when it’s unsafe.     #heartwisdom #love #protection

God on Suicide

The Truth about Suicide

Operating in the prophetic is always a little nerve-wracking for me.  “Prophetic” in Christianese for simply hearing from God.  In the prophetic, we are fallible human beings trying to connect with God and share what we are hearing.  He doesn’t take a chalkboard out and write it out so we can see it clearly. It’s not a science and hard to explain.  It requires an open heart: We have to more feel and discern our way through the three voices in our head:

1. Our voice (or maybe other people’s voices)

2. God’s voice

3. the voice of a stranger (aka the enemy)

These voices tug and pull, whisper and yell to keep us headed on the path of our destiny or get us off track.  What I’ve learned about God’s voice is that it brings freedom, peace, and a love for ourselves and others.  

The prophetic can be depicted in different ways-like on the big screen in the movie 2012 about a prophecy for the exact time and "end of the world."  Jesus said that it's not for us to know the hour or the day...that no one knows, not even the angels in heaven or Jesus but only the Father knows when He is coming back.  

Many fear prophecy because its scary to allow someone to creepily peer behind the curtain's of our mind like a Peeping Tom.  God and prophecy are NOT AT ALL like that in my experience.  Many "prophets" have a gift but are not filled with love.  These Debby Downer prophets are commonly found in some church settings: the prophet knows all, sees all, manipulates people with the gift.  If you cross Debby she will expose all your secret sins.  THAT IS NOT GOD!  When others exposed the woman in the bible caught in the very act of adultery, Jesus covered HER and stood between her and those who had exposed her!   God is not exposing our sin but our GREATNESS.  He sees us like a Father sees His own beloved child:  WONDERFUL, ONE OF A KIND, CHERISHED!  His plan for us is GOOOD! A prophecy can be like a Father cheering His child on at a sports event!  Saying in front of everyone, “That’s my child!"  He's cheering us on when we are winning and proud of us even when we don’t because we still have His eyes and look like Him since He’s our Father.  

The prophetic is always an adventure and astounds me….that God would speak to His people about even the smallest and superficial things as well as huge decisions.  It’s really fun to “nail it” but it’s more about his friendship and how dear it is to me to hear His voice.  When I get a “prophetic word” for someone, I get a glimpse of how God sees them and I am always amazed.  I have to get into listening mode which is sometimes hard for me as a person who likes to communicate.   I don’t have any “special super prophetic powers.”  It’s simple: God talks to those who talk to Him and will take the time to LISTEN!

One night we had a prophetic night for a large group of ladies.  We asked God to highlight someone present that He wanted to speak to.  We would then pray and deliver what we heard.  The last word I gave of the night was one of those right on or completely wrong prophetic words. A #nailedit or #killedit kind  of word. I know that God always NAILS IT but I sometimes wonder if it’s all mumbo jumbo made up but I've stepped out in faith a few times.  I'm learning more and more to discern what's from Him and what's from me. I felt it was from Him because when it's Him, the word won't go away.  It becomes like a record playing over and over in my head.  The word for this woman kept spinning through my mind but I put this word off until the very end because I didn’t quite understand what I was hearing.  Also, I was a teensy bit scared that I would miss it in front of all of these people (being honest here).    The word was for a lovely lady seemingly trying to stay hidden in the back of the room.  I asked God for some cajones (sp?) and delivered what I felt I heard and the gist of it was:

“I feel like you are a private person but God is highlighting you.  So I saw you putting things in a box and organizing it so this might mean you have the gift of organization.  I also saw you standing with your hands on a young man’s shoulders.  He looked like he was maybe 12 or 13.  If you are ever worried about this young man, I feel like God is saying he’s going to be okay.  There’s a scripture that says “For this child, I have prayed.”  Your hands were on the little boy’s shoulders so I felt like he was saying your prayers are covering him and he is just fine.  You don’t ever have to worry about him.”  

She made a face like what are you talking about?? and I thought I saw her mouth to the lady sitting beside her, “Did she say a little boy?” I felt nervous because this woman was clearly in her 60’s with her silver hair and elegant poise.  As I said, this word was either right on or really wrong.  I mean what 60 year old woman has a 13 year old kid. What if she had all girls and my word confused her completely?  I felt like I had missed it and asked God to give me peace about the word. It didn’t make sense but sometimes with God, we have to let go of our need for everything to  make sense.  

As I was leaving, the beautiful woman walked up to me and wondered if I could elaborate on my word.  She said she was, "Confused and needed clarification." CRAP.  I told her that confusion isn't from God so she could throw that word in the trash.  But she said she just didn't understand so I repeated it and asked her if she had a son or maybe a grandson that she was concerned about because I felt God was saying not to worry, he was going to be fine.  She said she had two sons and I was probably talking about her older son.  He was a “man of God”, a pastor.  My spirit started doing this buzzing thing it does when something is important.  I said no I think it's for the other son, the younger one. She said quietly, “I don’t think so. It couldn’t be for him because he committed suicide.” 

I immediately started crying because I knew with such a forcefulness in my gut that it was the younger son.  The box I saw and delivered in the prophetic word was where she had packed up her son’s things was not JUST symbolic of the gift of organization.  She was a private person so God wasn't going to expose her in front of all of these people and have me say, "Hey lady, your son who committed suicide is in heaven."  that would have likely embarrassed a private person or anyone for that matter like ripping a scab off something not healed.  I also like that He didn't tell me the details of a potentially painful situation.  He allowed her the dignity of sharing it with me if she felt comfortable.

The word then made sense to me in her situation.  Her prayers for her beloved son had covered and protected him…and maybe her son made a choice and meant it in his heart when he was young but lost his way later in life?  I know this might differ with Wesley's theory that you can "lose" your salvation but I'm just telling you about my experience. Again, it's not black and white but God always speaks TRUTH if we ask. 

This young man probably had a great destiny planned by God and the enemy hates what God loves. The age I saw him as was probably before the enemy interfered in his destiny.  The enemy is legalistic but God can be too.  Maybe the enemy had destroyed her son’s body but his mother’s prayers were God’s LEGAL right to free him, even if only in death, from the enemy.

 Many theologians and Christians believe that if someone commits suicide (like Judas in the bible) they are headed straight to hell and I’m sure there are scriptures to prove their point.  Since I delivered that word, it is not that black and white for me.  It's not wise to make blanket statements without consulting and hearing from God on matters of the heart.  God does what He wants.  He doesn’t play by my rules or anyone else’s.  Some might be scared that if it gets out that God is so merciful and graceful that people will take it as permission to end their life.  In my life I've found quite the opposite when God gives me a choice. His mercy and grace defeats the lies and allows me not to battle with sin but accept His grace for the situation.  The danger of focusing on sin and God's wrath can be that those we love feel alienated from God and stop talking to Him...then the enemy has a field day and convinces them they are worthless.  They start listening to the enemy who hates them and wants to destroy them rather than their Father who loves them. 


Without love, we can judge people's situations, whether it's committing suicide or more overt "sin."  I have definitely been judged in my life and I'm raising my hand because I have also judged others.  God is kind to correct me when I do :)  How can we know what it's like to walk in someone else's shoes, endure the pain that they have.  Can we presume to know someone's heart?

I’m amazed by God’s kindness and His grace to release this woman.  I'm not saying the destination is always heaven in the case of a suicide but this woman had probably endured such emotional heartache, shame and pain thinking that her son was in torment but he wasn’t.  Her son was at peace. Her son was free and now this woman was free.   

I don't presume to know everything but I know this:  God said her son was JUST FINE and her prayers had covered him.  HER SON IS OKAY!  SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO WORRY ANYMORE.  

Her son is with Jesus…

I submit what I've written above to you.  It's up to you whether to ask God for yourself.  If you ask, I am also asking God to confirm His truth.  He has for me or I wouldn't have written it;) 

Paris Edition: From Business Class to the Back of the Bus

My daughter and I were flying back from Paris as “non-revs.”  It’s a perk of working in the airline biz. Non-reving costs $ instead of $$$$$ ;)  The problem with  non-reving is you always fly standby.  ALWAYS.  Flights are overbooked in the summer so the odds of getting a seat on the plane as a standby during this season are about as likely as snow flurries on a Texas July day or buying a winning lottery ticket…I’m teasing…it’s not that low ;) but it still can be very stressful.  I started non-reving in May and I’ve been flying high at 100% success rate though.  I do my research and will not book flights that don’t have at least 20 seats left available but it’s never a ‘fo sho thing with weather and mechanical problems throwing a ‘monkey wrench’ into the best made flight plans. 

Monica and I showed up early for our flight home from Paris to find that an earlier flight that day had been cancelled which left our flight with more than 50 people on the standby list.  We were number 48 and 49. Dang, I had to get back for work! The gate agent did not make her way down to our names on the list for that flight :(  There’s not a bazillion flights out of France to the US.  In fact, there were only 2 flights left going out that entire day and they weren’t going anywhere near Dallas. NO BUENO sleeping in an airport even if it was in Paris #firstworldproblems #feelsorryforme? #didntthinkso  

We quickly listed on the next flight to Boston, crossing our fingers, saying Hail Mary’s but seriously praying to our Father who can make a way where there seems to be none.  While in line, I overheard a mother and daughter’s stressed conversation.  They were bickering and snipping at each other about various things.  They were non-revs too but  had bought full fare tickets from Rome because they were stuck on standby there for days.  They were both desperate to get home and now the flight cancellation had pushed them to the back of the line of the cancelled flight passengers.  It was doubtful that they would make it on.. I silently commiserated with their plight.  “I feel ya,” I thought and said another prayer for God to get us on. 

After waiting impatiently and after everyone with real tickets had boarded, we finally heard the music to our ears, as the gate agent called us and handed us our tickets.  Seats in Business Class no less, so lay down beds, amenity kits, Beats headphones like LeBron (well, the knockoff Bose;), personal entertainment systems, all the fun pampering and gourmet food with that nice First Class type touch.   SCORE!  WOOP WOOP!  YEAH GOD!  That’s what I’m talking ‘bout!  Flying in style!

I was ‘jetting’ for the plane when I saw the mother and daughter from earlier.  They were having a conversation with the gate agent and looked really distressed.  

The mom said, “What do you mean you only have one ticket?  My daughter is only 15 years old so I can’t leave her or let her go without me.  Please, please, I’m begging you. I will buy a ticket.  I don’t care what it costs.”

The daughter added, “Isn’t there something you can do?”

The gate agent said in her french accent, “I’m sorry, mademoiselle, but there is nothing.  Would you like to take the one ticket? It is the last seat.”

As a flight attendant, I didn’t have to but I could offer to take the 7+ hour flight sitting on an uncomfortable extra jumpseat. Said seat had no nice fluffy cushion, no recline button and no hot towels, no warm nuts and NO BOSE headphones!  There would be no sleep for me on a jumpseat. DANGIT!  I could have walked on and said, “See ya.  Wouldn’t want to be ya.  Stinks to be you right now, sucka, but, check it out, I’ve got my Business Class ticket.”  My heart sunk when I thought of giving up my penthouse for a tiny doghouse…going from Business Class literally to the back of the bus.  I prayed and just knew what my spirit wanted me to do.  I  wish I could say it was an easy decision but it was not, my friend, and I am not tooting my own horn here like oh hey look how great Jennifer is… She’s so selfless. No, not at all, before I handed my ticket to the ticket agent, I closed my eyes and said the same potty word three distinct and separate times out loud.  (starts with an S and ends with a T.  I’ll let you figure it out).   

God wasn’t telling me what to do in this situation.  Not manipulating me but ASKING me if I was WANTED to give up my place for these two to have a place at all. I can’t say that I was happy about it but I felt that God would be pleased if I did.  I love to make my Father in Heaven smile and laugh (which I think He laughs at me often cuz i’m crazy like that;)  There would be no punishment if I said no.  He wouldn’t be disappointed in me.  It was MY choice.  With mixed emotions, I handed the gate agent my business class ticket and said I could take the jumpseat if it would help them both make the flight.  The mother wanted to know why I would do it? Could she pay me?  How could she pay me back?  I answered, “God did this for you.  He loves you and is going to take care of you.  Please just tell Him thank you because you need to know He’s the reason why I did it.” The mom and daughter both began crying and hugging me.  It’s so much fun being a part of what God is doing in other’s lives but sometimes it usually costs us personally.

Would this mom have done the switch-a-roo for me if she was able?  No, she confessed when she came back to the back of the plane from her nice cozy seat to say thanks again but that wasn’t the point.  I didn’t do it for her.  I did it because He asked me to and my spirit knew that it would bring me joy…eventually ;) -oh, and it’s already been done for me.  #grateful  

In my life, I felt stuck in the seats sold on the airplane that people avoid-the ones near the back where you are the last to get off or the seats by the engine or maybe the seats with no view that are always stinky because they are too close to the bathrooms;)… After three divorces, two abortions and a heart that was as hard as a rock things still looked good on the surface:  great job providing for my kids, respected at work, nice home…the things that are important to the world. In my heart of hearts though, underneath all of my hardness, I felt alone and left out.  No ticket for me.  Maybe the mom and daughter felt  a little taste of that when they found out they would be stuck... left behind and no one could or would help them but He did help me and it surprised me when He did.  HE traded places with me.  He gave me a new name and a new heart…a new destination in life.  I am forever grateful and I can do that for others by having a soft heart to be willing to give and suffer like Him.  Dang, I love Him for that.   He gave everything o have my heart.

I wish I could say that there was a grace on my jumpseat experience.  It wasn't the worst thing in the world, of course, but it was extremely uncomfortable. Many people have planted seeds like this in my life and I was woo-ed by His love to have a relationship with Him.  This effort to show His love to this mother and daughter could show them that He loves them or creates an open door in their heart for Him to sit with them and talk…maybe to change the direction of their life forever so they are free, have a better relationship with each other, have peace? or maybe they took a chance and prayed asking God for help and He sent me?  I don’t know what God was doing but our sacrifices for Him are NEVER EVER in vain. It may feel like we are losing but our actions have ripple effects of movement in people’s lives towards His love.  When people are in a pickle,  preaching their ear off or even throwing money at them or telling them how terrible they are, will not show His love but we CAN choose take the opportunities in our lives to show love and surprise someone with His kindness through us.   

I Feel Peaceful Inside

photo cred: copyright © 2014 Wendy L. White 

Psalm 131:2 I’ve kept my feet on the ground,

    I’ve cultivated a quiet heart.

Like a baby content in its mother’s arms,

    my soul is a baby content.

I Feel Peaceful Inside

Those that have never made the journey into chronic pain

are helpless to understand how it sucks you into it’s dark and malevolent current

the physical form weak and alone and completely undone

powerless to stay afloat, gasping for air, overcome by it's brutal waves

i find myself floundering in the chaos of it’s stormy waters

exhausted from the never ending onslaught 

I reach out to grasp hold on to the flotsam of people 

no matter how hard I try to will my body

it denies my requests to be lofty and strong

like a paddle without the safety of a boat

mustering all my self will is useless

some never make it out of the maelstrom of pain 

it’s power and coldness take their breath away

it suffocates the fire within

they lose hope... 

My prayers or maybe the prayers of my grandmother

have kept me from drowning 

without prayer's break of clouds to give me hope, 

I too would be lost  

because pain leaves us all feeling forsaken, 

forgotten and unloved

the pain has brought me to the point of letting go of everything 
but Him

The pain is real 

but I’m no longer contained by it’s grasp

As I cry out, I am found 

and held safely by His love

Pain isn’t forever

Yes, it still comes

but joy always comes in the morning

I cling to the strength of His love

 in the weakness of my personal pain

knowing the tears will still come 

unbidden and flow like rivers freely

but they are not tears without hope

They are captured in a bottle 

like a letter written to His heart

my heart, now hopeful, 

looks on the horizon for His rescue 

because it will surely come

I don’t question His faithful love for me anymore

Pain has brought an immovable depth to me, 

a purity to the waters of my heart

He builds something strong and steady for me to sail on

 into these unchartered waters

His strength my rudder of hope 

through the choppy waves of pain

He guides me with the light of His stars

Pain will never destroy His unconditional love for me

Like a mother with her child in her arms

the beauty of the birth

 is worth the pain of labor

the depth of His love never being known

 without the pain of it

I feel peaceful inside.

~Jennifer Weiss

Put Your Eye of the Tiger Face On

I went to get my nails “did” last week…NBD (that stands for no big deal, for those my age who don’t know ;) The woman who was doing my nails spoke broken english as we started chatting. I admired her beautiful silver necklace.  Her husband was French and he bought it for her in France.  She had no idea but my daughter and I were planning a trip to France the following week so I got this tingly deja vú feeling.  God alerts me in special ways to opportunities and I felt an unexplainable connection with this woman.  It was a divine appointment and I could either be “present” and aware of what He was doing, or sleep through it and focus on ME ME ME and my nails and God would have been okay with that…but He trusts me with this stuff and I want to see these things through.  It brings me joy to see people free. I asked her if she had any children. She said, “I had a daughter.”  Had?  I asked her if her daughter had gone to heaven and the sadness was written on her face as she looked down and nodded.  It was the 5 year anniversary of her daughter’s death that week. She explained that her daughter had a heart defect and had died at four years old.  Her little one died just two months shy of the surgery scheduled to correct the defect. I could feel the pain in her heart and said, “I’m so so sorry you had to endure that…losing your precious child.” I mean how do you ever get over that??? She and I both sat across from each other and cried right there together.  She held my hand as I patted her with my free hand. Neither of us could wipe our snot or tears, but it was a connection. God was doing something. Honestly, she did a pretty terrible job on my nails ;) but when we parted ways she and I embraced and she wouldn’t let me go.  Audrey Assad wrote, “Pain is a forest we all get lost in.”  Understandably so, this woman was lost in her pain… so visible so real that it broke my heart. What I didn't tell her:  God needed your child to be another angel...She's with God so you should be okay...It's been five years let it go.  Never underestimate the power of a hug. I felt like God was healing her heart in our hug.  It had been five years and it was time for her to believe that life could be good again.  

In the movie Bridesmaids, Annie (Kristin Wiig) and Megan (played by Melissa McCarthy) meet at a wedding shower for a mutual friend.  They have an interesting and comical first conversation about a fairly crappy situation.
Annie:  How are you?
Megan:  I’m on the mend… fell off a cruise ship.
Annie: oh ‘bleep’
Megan:  yeah oh ‘bleep’, took a hard, hard violent fall (off the ship)…kind of pin balled down.  Hit a lot of railings.  Broke a lot of ‘bleep’…I met a dolphin down there and i swear to God that dolphin looked right at me not at me but into my…soul…the dolphin said “I’m saving you, Megan,” not with his mouth but he said it, I'm assuming, telepathically. We had a connection that I don’t even know if I can explain.”

As funny as that is there is a parallel in life with those hurting. Jesus sends His messengers like the dolphin to go into the deep so they don’t drown in their sorrows.  We can remind people that life can be good again.  We can offer that hope and it’s their choice to take it.

There is a connection spiritually for those who have suffered through a dark night of the soul.  I look into their eyes and I see a kindness and compassion…a knowing.  They have the eyes of Jesus. “Deep waters call out to what is deeper still; at the roar of your waterfalls all your breakers and your waves swirled over me,” written by Kind David. My deep calls out to their deep and says “I see your pain.  My heart hurts with you. I’m sorry that you had to go through that.  Jesus suffered too and can take your pain into His body.”  It’s like we recognize the badge of courage and medal of honor in each other known only to those who have taken one for the team for the sake of the Kingdom.  A lot of these “deep” warriors don’t even know Jesus yet, but I sense His Spirit in them. They may not realize it, but their suffering has spiritually connected them to their Savior who endured so much suffering that He cried drops of blood..

PAIN FEELS YUCKY! 
I mean who likes pain? We avoid it.  We fear it.  I filled myself with a lot of things because of the scars of physical and emotional pain and never wanting to experience it again.  I did things to cope with the trauma of it.  I had a tremendous amount of fear.  I could not stand to be alone.  The anxiety would overwhelm me and I would have panic attacks at night when I was alone. For years I asked God why I had to endure physical and emotional abuse. “If you would just tell me why, God, I could accept it.” But He never did and that really hurt.  When I finally gave up my reason to know why, I finally felt peace but it took me many years to lay that at His feet and trust that He loved me and had not forsaken me. King David who was a man after God’s own heart lamented to God, “My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long,  “Where is your God?…I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?…These things I remember as I pour out my soul…”  

There’s something about suffering that guts us like a deer on the hook and leaves us empty to be filled with something….anything… questioning and trying to reconcile this life…Wondering WHY? WHY ME? Are you real, God? Am I unlovable?  Did I do something wrong?  Am I forgotten? I walked away from my struggles believing for a long time that God was real but there was something wrong with me.  I became very hard hearted and lived a tormented life for many years.  Life is by NO MEANS perfect for me now AT ALL but I am never alone.  I have peace.  My heart is soft. God promises never to leave me.  I think He suffered with me during the hard times. 

We can fill our emptiness with anger or addiction so we don’t have to hurt anymore.  We decide that we will always remain in control which is impossible.  Our hearts can become like the scorched earth-dry, brittle, hard and there is no real growth.  We can't let anyone in because they might hurt us too.  Still others lay down and let the suffering make them a victim.    

It’s a war out there y’all.  I've struggled with migraines for several years now so it can be physical pain or emotional pain. Either way the pain is real.  It can be like a sucker punch to the gonads.  It can lay us out on the mat, down for the count, barely breathing with all hope lost when the blessed bell rings signaling the end of a rough round and a momentary reprieve from the pain.  The break allows us to stagger up and catch our breath to be encouraged in our corner revived with strength from our Coach.  Anyone who has watched Rocky (so basically everyone ;) knows that our enemy usually seems bigger and stronger like that Aryan looking Russian guy Rocky faced whose name escapes me. Let’s call him Vladimir.  Vlad was a machine:  stronger, taller, probably on steroids and he was trained to kill.  Such an unfair fight… BUT Rocky had HEART.  You, my friend, have heart and God is on your side.  He works all things together for good.  Sometimes we won’t realize the “good” part until we are by His side in Heaven.  If you are currently feeling like Vlad gave you a right hook with a 2x4 (his fist) then know this:  we’re going to have to take some punches below the belt, have a few black eyes, bloody noses in this life if we are going to survive the full ten rounds.  No it’s not fair but you can come back out swinging and stronger for it if you choose to. Paul said at the end of his life, “I have fought the good fight of faith.  I have finished the race.”   Will you rise up and give the devil his due?  Jesus is with you (hey that rhymes :) 

Rocky was right when he said: “The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you're hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward…” #eyeofthetiger

Encouraging my fellow “deep” warriors: Keep moving forward and “don’t stop believing.  Hold on to that feeling!”~Journey

There are perks to pain though. Though we may never know why the pit bull of pain had to bite them, God doesn't leave us without help.    I’ve been keeping up with the doctor who was afflicted with the Ebola virus.  We finally got him back to the States and he is receiving the best care available.  God is like that.  He doesn’t leave us stranded.  If we cry out to Him, He will bring us back to safety, nurture and care for us like no other.  He is the only One who can heal us but it's up to us to believe.  Once healed by Him, those broken places are indestructible.  He gives us a blood transfusion and we carry His immunity to the Ebola of pain to share and be used to heal others with broken hearts. 

If you need help in this area, pray this prayer with me:

God help me.

Short and sweet.  You thought it was going to be a long prayer didn't you ;)  Now wait and watch for Him to meet you right where you are.

Psalm 42: 8-9 By day the Lord directs his love,    at night his song is with me—    a prayer to the God of my life. Why, my soul, are you downcast?    Why so disturbed within me?   Put your hope in God,    for I will yet praise him,    my Savior and my God.