Young Love, It Makes No Sense

YOUNG LOVE

We were created to love and be loved by our Maker.  There’s no getting away from it. He designed the world that way.  We hope and we put our heart out there and we invest our time and attention into a new relationship hoping for love.  Hoping our love and our investment will be returned and not rejected.  

Love makes the world go round, right?  (actually that’s false. delete that. Love does not make the world go round.  that’s not possible unless you consider that God is love and He made the world.  Okay, okay let’s keep it in)

A new relationship, whether it be romantic or a friendship, can draw excitement to inhabit our tummy like butterflies in a jar…  My son wrote a poem about the impetuousness of this shallow kind of love.  It included the succinct and true words, “Young Love, It makes no sense.”  Still, young love can be a floating balloon full of hope at the possibilities of what might be, what could be, and maybe even some what should be. 

Come to think of it, we had a helium filled birthday balloon floating around our house for a few days. True story.  (Don’t worry, I’m not getting distracted. This story has a point) Somehow the balloon got loose and travelled up to the top of our high ceilings where we couldn’t reach it.  It’s head was in the clouds-all hopped up on helium— so we had to wait for it to come down (kind of like young love).  

The balloon floated aimlessly behind Tanner one day when he was watching TV downstairs.  Creepy.  He pushed it over into the corner.  He went upstairs to take his shower but when he opened the door there it was…waiting for him like a stalker balloon.  He may or may not have screamed.   Convinced the wayward balloon was possessed, Tanner took it outside where the wind carried it away to haunt him no more. This was way more hilarious in real life.

When someone disses our love, we can act like the creeper balloon.  We hover waiting for them to change and choose us only to find we are left out in the cold.   It hurts.  What happens when the young love balloon gets popped? maybe the balloon loses it’s shimmer and shine and is thrown in the trash.  What if someone sucks the helium out of our balloon to make their voice squeaky and get a laugh? Okay, that one doesn’t fit, but I simply couldn’t pass it by… this was getting too heavy. I had to lighten it up… never mind. poor timing on that one.

Seriously though, love seems to be the phone call we’ve all been waiting on.  Someone to find value in us, notice us, be attractive and attracted to us.  We excitedly see the phone number or text pop up on the screen. It might be a new friend or a new love interest, but it’s our chance… an opportunity for the connection our heart desires…a chance to love and be loved.   The tenuous connection is strengthened with every phone call, kind word, gift or paid check.  But what happens when there is static on the line?  What happens when the connection is lost?  Or worse, we get hung up on?

(Spoiler alert:Debbie Downer moment coming…I promise it gets better)

Here’s what happens when young love goes bad: It dies. Finito. Gone. Finished. It doesn’t go back to the way it was.  Dead. Sorry to burst your hope-filled helium balloon but (whispering this) it’s not real love anyway.  My son had it pegged by 6th grade, “Young Love, It Makes No Sense.”  It’s NOT REALLY ALIVE!  Like the balloon, young love loses it’s ability to stay high.   There’s no depth to it.  No anchor for it to weather the storms of life. It’s based on self and superficial smiles. We know nothing about the person only how they can make US feel. 

TRUE LOVE

Young love must die because it’s all about self: Me. my needs. Those are important, but we don’t have anything to give unless we have true love birthed in our heart through a dead seed of dying to self.  

Somehow, the process of those butterflies in our tummy get reversed.  Our Young Love Butterfly somehow transforms back into a caterpillar or our heart hardens in it’s shell like a cocoon.  There’s a metamorphosis to love that if we give up on it too soon, we never see the fulfillment:  True Love.    

Here’s the good news, when Jesus didn’t die and stay there, He was resurrected!  If we are willing to die the worldly ways of loving, it has the ability to be resurrected into a beautiful connection on every level:  TRUE LOVE.   It may be in a superficial relationship that grows deeper.  If both people arent willing to go deeper, True love may come by letting go of one relationship and God bringing us something new with a person who has been through the same run around and left young love behind.   

SO WHAT NOW?  

Friends will let us down and we will let them down. Some fall to the way side because they don’t want to go deeper.  When I let them down, they aren’t willing to give me an opportunity to work through it together, or I’m not willing.  We can decide whether we want to go the extra mile, man up ;) and communicate through it.  

I’m not suggesting anyone be a door mat or stay in an abusive relationship. NOT.AT.ALL.  Don’t allow who God created you to be die.  Never sacrifice yourself on the altar.  Only Jesus can do that.   Trust yourself and your feelings.  If you are feeling invalidated, unloved, an inequality, injustice or your heart hurts, talk to God about it.   Bring it out and show it to God.   He will bring areas  for your own growth and healing or lead you to a loving confrontation with the person you are in relationship with to help them grow. 

Some people won’t love us back.  We need to let that balloon go.  Stop participating in relationships where someone is not invested in it.  It will produce no good fruit.   

I won’t tell you to fall in love with Jesus or date Jesus.  I’ve done it…I think a lot of us have… It’s been a bit OVERdone and taken too literally.  Let’s face it.  Jesus’ lips aren’t physically in front of me to kiss me.  His arms aren’t holding me every night… So no, please don’t make out with your pillow and pretend it’s Jesus. (I know, I know spiritually He kisses and holds us…please just hear me out on this). I’m saying HE gives us provision for those things physically.  That’s why He created us for love and for relationship.  He believes in providing a real live person to be our friend, to  love and be loved by here on Earth if we desire it.  

My Suggestion:  Become aware of His presence and He will reveal Himself to you.  Call Him a few times a day.  Establish that connection.  Spend time with Him being still, receiving His love, talk to Him, ask Him questions.  Let your loneliness turn into a connection with Him.   He will give you provision and meet your needs through deep and quality friendships and a spouse if you desire it.  One that will be made of substance, a mutual respect and true love.  The kind of love that will endure the test of time.