Who's on Hairball Duty?

My bathtub was draining slowly.  There are few things I despise more than convoluting a coat hanger to wrench a hairball from my bathtub drain…that’s why I no longer do it.  “Honey, your hair has clogged the drain AGAIN!”  I yell sweetly to my co-heir in Christ.  

My wonderful husband was nominated by our party of five and elected to be Drain Duty President.  There is no expiration to this office.  It is a lifetime achievement award.  I mean it’s got to be mostly his hair, right? Shouldn’t he do the work to remove it?  ;)  

Don’t feel too sorry for my husband.  He secretly waits for opportunities to torture me with said hairball.  My gag reflex kicks in at what looks to be a dead rat waiting near my toothbrush to attack me. I hear him snickering from the other room as I scream.  I may as well come clean ;)  I have a hairball phobia.    

My heart can get clogged like that though.  One hair at a time, the emotions and problems of each day build up in my heart and I’m scared to clean them out.  Unfortunately, only I can be willing to expose what's in my own drain by being willing to face my fears.  These emotions seem to be stuck inside of me unless I deal with them.  If I try to stuff my emotions down, day after day, they will clog the arteries of my heart until no love is coming in or going out.  Writing is my personal Roto Rooter.   My pen or keystrokes are like Liquid Plumber.

For those of you with weak stomachs like me, I will focus on a different visual.  Working through the variety of my emotions can also be like detangling a big mess of colorful yarn.  

As I encounter emotional snarls through the week, I start feeling anxiety.  When I write to God, I unravel my mix of encounters or emotions that I couldn’t address in the moment. I write a ‘yarn” and I untangle my fears...fears about how I look, words I wish I could take back, weird looks people give to me, worries, ugly thoughts about people that don't line up with God's, when my husband and I disagree, my child disrespects me, someone says an unkind word to me or treats me poorly.   Most of what I write is never seen by anyone but me and God. Sometimes I cuss in my letters.  Sometimes I cry because it hurts.  I’ve found myself crying so hard that I couldn’t see through my tears to continue writing.  I didn’t want to write again for a few days after that because my heart needed some time to heal.

 Through my tenacious suffering, holding on to the working of all for good, My Maker brings me healing as I pull each thread and put it on paper. At the end of my rope, or yarn, I find freedom am no longer attached to the toxic emotions.  When my heart is open, He shows me how I could handle things differently through being more authentic and expressing and communicating my emotions in a healthy way. 

There’s an interesting legend about an impossible knot.  Whoever was able to unravel the “Gordian Knot” would be the future conqueror of all of Asia.  Many had tried to solve the intricate knot.  Alexander the Great was said to take his sword and cut swiftly and boldly through the middle of the knot.  It was a decisive and out-of-the-box move. 

God can do that for us. He can cut through all of our crap in one fell swoop of His sword.  If we let Him in. He can’t cut the knot if it remains in our heart or He would cut us in the process. It takes courage and trust to bring the pain to light.  It’s easier to hide it in the junk room.  We hang a sign on the door  “Do Knot Enter.” By shutting the door, we keep God out.   We don’t even have free hands to untangle it ourselves. It’s too big for us to work through alone because we were too young or there was too much pain.  Some of those things that we think we have buried deep within our hearts are affecting our beauty and freedom today. We are twisted and tied up. They are like strings that hold us in bondage to the past and cause us to be puppets of the enemy for our future.  

Our Maker tells us to present our petitions to Him and His peace will guard our hearts and minds. I know things may seem dark right now but it’s always darkest before the dawn.  God can bring light and beauty to the darkest of nights. Get it out of you and on paper.  Trust Him with your pain. When we trust Him with our petitions, He will bring us justice.  He takes care of Drain Duty and creates a pure heart. 

When I write, the room that said “Do Knot Enter” becomes clean and uncluttered.  He brings light to my darkness. I can see to co-labor with Him to spin the yarns together and create with God and you can too.  He can weave the dark threads together within you to make something beautiful.  It may be a song, a poem, a book, a painting, or even a business.   Whatever it is will be special and unique just like you.