LEADERS can be Butts too

LEADERS can be Butts too

I was on a vacay with my 20 year old son and his friend, Joey. I told them, “I don’t wanna slow you two young ‘uns down.” I did pretty great at keeping up with them considering. I could go rest in the shade while they surfed and snorkeled but then we did a bike ride. They toot tooted off ahead and I brought up the rear. #ringring I huffed and I puffed and then I slowed down. way down. 

I could still see their churning legs far far down the road. I cranked my pedals harder to try to catch up…Something MUST BE wrong with the bike…It was obviously broken ;)

They finally figured out they’d lost their caboose and came back to fetch me a few minutes later finding me with back of hand on the forehead, “You left me! I might have perished!” JK I said, “Guys, First, we must get some iced tea then we’ve gotta get a plan here so momma doesn’t get left in the dust.” 

We decided to put Tanner in front. Me in the middle and Joey behind me. That way the slowest/weaker member didn't get left behind. It worked really well until Joey’s chain fell off and I didn’t look back either thinking that I was the one who needed watching over. 

I’m by no means a PHD but below are 5 things the Holy Spirit has been revealing to me personally about leadership of late: 

1. LEAD FROM THE BACK/Butt: This is an important lesson for leaders to learn. 

Jono and I like to go hiking. He’s a better navigator but he lets me get out front too. Out front I deal with spider webs and snakes and he watches my 6 so I don’t get attacked or eaten by a bear. Cuz there's lots of those ‘round these parts. Haha Sometimes we switch because there's thorns and bushes and he whacks them away. The point is we do it together. No one is designated in a certain space. Leading can be from the front or the back. He's definitely an expert on the trails and I am an expert sight seer aka beauty finder and chronicler of our journeys ;)

2. LET GO OF THE NEED TO LEAD: Recognize that we all have our gifts and strengths where we lead but when it's not our "gifting" we gotta LET GO and learn to listen and follow or we will find ourselves being very, very unhappy along with everyone around us. :) Be an empowerer who doesn't have to be micromanaging and ruling with an iron fist. #controlfreak When it’s new terrain a leader needs to give the reigns to another who is familiar. My husband is amazingly logical at keeping details straight but I get the heart and vision behind all the "facts." We need each other to display our strengths.  #NotAOneManShow #NoLoneRangers#teamworkmakesthedreamwork
LEADERS are less comfortable following or feeling “behind”:
——My own nature… As a flight attendant when, as a crew going from gate to gate, we walk through the airport together. Sometimes I’m in an unfamiliar airport and I don’t even know where I am going but I’m a “power walker” and think I can probably figure it out. I follow the signs and instructions and stay out front because I don't want to be left behind. sometimes I get everyone following me the WRONG WAY! When they've been there before so they can lead. Be a good leader AND a good follower :) If we HAVE to be out front that can represent selfish ambition or fear of being forgotten. Only God knows what's in our hearts #beentheredonethat

3. LEADERS ARE CHOSEN BY GOD AND NOT BY SELF: When I first started my Christian walk, I liked to lead. A baby Christian, I volunteered to lead a small group at Celebrate Recovery. I learned really quick that those out front get shot at… A LOT! And so I hid for a while from leadership. I don’t step out until God calls me out and then I know I am hidden under the shadow of His wing.  #onAssignment

Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

4. LEADERS DO A LOOK BACK and responsible for all not just self. There’s a military term FI LO, first in, last out. Set your heart to be willing to do either at God's command. Another term used is "Leave No Man Behind." If we think we are too important to help someone left BEHIND then remember someone once wiped your own ;) when you were too weak to do it yourself and that one day you could possibly need that help again... Leaders are servants: here I am serving cokes and picking up people's trash on an airplane and NOT loving it so there's that. :) It's a tendency of many strong leaders: capable, confident can forget that others are following or that we are servant leaders. we get so focused on the destination we don’t know how to carry others into the promise land or into the dream TOGETHER.
Pre-Jesus, in my partying days, I was a single momma and I would leave monica to babysit Tanner. I was a no-show as a leader. I see that in men and women who are focused on their careers or even pastoring. We forget the living breathing and MOST important gifts we are working so hard for-FAMILY. Leaving them in the dust.

The hubs & I got into a big old *discussion* one day when I was following him in the car to a new place. “Follow me,” he called out as he tore out of the parking lot. First yellow light, he gunned it and I got stuck. He “forgot” he had a tail and he didn’t look back. (all this is written with his permission)

So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen. Matthew 20:16 

5. NO SHOW LEADERS Maybe you are simply NOT relating with this. You shun the front. Feels most comfy being at the back of the class. When God says, “Who shall I send? Who will go for me?” the answer is to slink down in our desk and hide and calling it humility. Being an armchair quarterback to our husband, business associates or other leaders but not stepping out where God is calling us for fear of failure or perfection issues BUT we have lots to correct or say to leaders. What if those you are to lead never get to their destination because you remained hidden or silent or only did the arm chair quarterback thing?  #disobedience #rebellion #fear#passivity One day, we'll stand face-to-face with God and tell him why we chose to be a coward or to stay a victim rather than step up and step out so be bold, be brave, do what you are called to do.

There are people I know who do this really well Laura Therrien-always offering a helping hand with a pure heart. She's very capable of being the captain of a boat but she defers, she has great wisdom. Mary Jo: a prayer pastor mentoring so many in following JC by opening her home, teaching and baking challah bread. Those are two immediate names that come to mind and there are many others... walking, breathing testimonies in their servant hearted lives...and of course there is JESUSCHRIST

******************JESUS IS THE MODEL!!!!!!!!!!***********************
Eyes on Him. He leads, we follow.
Jesus led and others followed was a definite theme in His life. First, he learned it was important to follow His parents on earth and His Father in Heaven though. Jesus wasn’t always making sure he was a few steps in front. That was't His goal-for everyone to know He was running it. Nor was He a hoverer...He led, rested and connected with God too. Sometimes he stayed behind and let the others go ahead without him when He sent the 70 out with power and he sent his brothers on ahead of Him to Jerusalem before His crucifixion.

The point is- yes lead and lead well but it’s not always 2 steps ahead. It may be 2 steps behind your weakest link. Kind of like Joey, at the age of 20, he could kill it on the bike but he slowed down and took a back seat as a leader but for all his strength BUT he DID need help too because his bike chain fell off. 

Feel like you have the gift of leadership or a strength in a specific area? Cuz we all do in some specific area: prayer, kindness, teaching, creativity, ideas person, hearing God's plans from Heaven, helping others, administration, etc. In leadership, right now, what I see (preaching to myself too): we have too many heads and not enough butts and bottom line is this is carnal leadership cuz leading is SERVING one another :)

Excerpts from John 3 "The Father had given Jesus power over everything. Jesus knew this. (He wasn't insecure or trying to prove something) He also knew that he had come from God. And he knew that he was going back to God. So while they were eating, Jesus stood up and took off his robe. He got a towel and wrapped it around his waist. Then he poured water into a bowl and began to wash the followers’ feet. He dried their feet with the towel that was wrapped around his waist...When Jesus finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and went back to the table. He asked, “Do you understand what I did for you? You call me ‘Teacher.’ And you call me ‘Lord.’ And this is right, because that is what I am. I am your Lord and Teacher. But I washed your feet. So you also should wash each other’s feet. I did this as an example for you. So you should serve each other just as I served you. Believe me, servants are not greater than their master. Those who are sent to do something are not greater than the one who sent them. If you know these things, great blessings will be yours if you do them."

What do you get when you have two turkeys in the kitchen?

I was sitting on the jumpseat with a fellow flight attendant who was hitching a ride to work. She lived in Oklahoma City and was sweet and southern. As flight attendants, we get to talking on that jumpseat. It’s the nature of chubby-ish thigh to thigh meat on a too small metal bench.

She was sharing with me how she loves to cook and is really good at it. It’s kind of her “thang” but her husband always wants to creep in on her domain and try to “help” her. (such a dear-probably taste test everything to make sure it’s not poisonous, saint that he is) She said she would much rather him be out on the grill and have her space to herself. The kitchen gets tight and tense when they try to cook together. 

They divide and conquer and it works well for them and there’s nothing wrong with that. It works for them. They probably have other things they enjoy and do well together. 

The tension over meal prep reminded me of my own trials in the kitchen. Try to cook together: all our intimacy issues became really obvious.

We're both bossy. Like if we didn't think of it, it's not the greatest idea. Our way of doing it is the best way. I was overly sensitive to my cooking abilities and Jonathon was really territorial. Thanksgiving was our personal reality show of World War Z or World War III or World War T ;) he would come behind me and taste something I was cooking and throw a pinch or more like a cup of salt in and I would do a little turkey trot over to his gravy and pronounce loudly, “Too salty. Way too salty.” AND it all kind of went downhill from there. Lots of passive aggressive comments and jabs, controlling actions (stay away from that I have it where I want it), perfection issues, hurt feelings. Having a lot of people over and trying to accomplish feeding them all and get the house ready will put any couple to the test. Our worst seems to come out right before we hear the knock on the door, growl over our food and then paste a fake grin on as we fling open the door, “Welcome to our lovely home.” I would make sure and seat him as far away from me as possible. 

We would get through the meal with gritted teeth. Try to eat turkey and pie like that.  #losesItsFlavor :-/ We wouldn’t talk for a few days. And neither of us was quick to listen or slow to speak, slow to get angry. 

Girls, when I say we had epic battles in the kitchen, it’s a little bit of an understatement. You know those battle scenes where opposing armies are in the valley rushing across the field on their horses swords in the air, arrows flying? Except we had gravy ladles pointing and salt shakers shaking, and the battle was over whether to put mushrooms and bit of mustard in the green bean casserole.

He would continue being mean or have snarky comment towards me during the meal. I would pull my pillow to the very edge of the bed without falling off and put another pillow between us. He knew what that “sign” meant. Momma’s KITCHEN IS CLOSED! We would stay disconnected until someone apologized, we’d exacted sufficient punishment on each other by taking it too far, or we would wake up and forget what we were fighting about. To repeat the same cycle over again and again any time we would try to accomplish things together under pressure. 

This was kind of our mode of operating SO We avoided working together and stayed out of each other’s way to prevent the drama.

What do you get when you have two turkeys in the kitchen?
Answer: A HOT MESS

Team work will bring out all the gunk of our connection issues. Have you seen LeBron -he’s a one man show #ballhog. Jono and I tried to play games that way. You may be winning at life but your team is falling apart and feeling unnecessary and like you are a bench warmer. Working on a team with different personalities, quirks, fears, hang ups. LAWD! The.struggle.is.real

Many couples give up trying to be a team and go with single serve “chicken" on the run. bypassing the uncomfortable silence at the dinner table.

Husband works and has his hobbies while avoiding vulnerability because he sucks at it. He sections a sliver of time for her into the midnight hour of their bedroom because he just can’t connect with her in any other way and be good at it.
Wife takes is hyper focused on kids and has her girls lunches or church ministries (ouch), romance novels or comedies, attention from guys at the gym, coffee shop,
work, spa “me” time, she works or plans a life outside of him because it’s just easier and less heartache….Or she just dies inside and shuts down losing her shine.
That's when affairs happen or you just stay out of each other's way. 

This was where Jonathon and I were headed. DISCONNECTED! 

I don’t know exactly when it happened but things began to change. For the better.

My hubby and I are both very strong willed. Slowly very slowly (like years and tears kind of slowly). We were worn out with fighting. But we grew inch by hard earned inch closer. We started to bend towards each other.
—-We finally stopped trying to change each other. 
—-We finally started listening and responding to the others wishes rather than doing it “our way”.
---We lost sight of ourselves
---the pressure came off 

Our hearts were both for connection, we just didn’t know how to do it. Whether you “believe” the bible or not, the principles there are pure gold. Forgive 70x7. Think of others more highly than yourself. Don’t give in to the flesh. Humble yourself. Serve. Give. Love. THEN get up the next day and do it all over again. Slowly your brain gets rewired to do these things faster and more readily. Those detours we take to dead ends in relationship are bypassed. because you taste the fruit of being selfless - it is sweet to the taste just like pecan pie when we lay down our right to be right.  #pride There’s freedom in His ways.

The last thanksgiving was probably the first year where we actually laughed and joked the entire time. 

A surprise even to me - I felt no pressure. No stress. It made no sense. This is the first year we should have been in each other’s way! We went from this chef’s kitchen to this teeny tiny rental house with a kitchen where we passed each other sideways and sucked in. We just had fun though and worked side by side. Being in this tiny house has forced us to connect in a more intimate way.
Jonathon served me a scoop of mashed potatoes, “Taste these before I put any more salt in them.” He praised my help and my apple cream pies. Breakthrough! 

We opened the door to our family with genuine smiles. I sat right beside him :) #thightothigh #turkeylegtoturkeyleg

I knew it was a miracle…because of where we came from. Folks, never forget where you came from or you will miss the miracles of the new season and forget to be thankful. 
This is our new MO: Team work makes the dream work…
except now we have to work on our car rides! 
#AlwaysAnAdventure #AlwaysGrowing

Are you struggling with “playing well with others?” I’ve seen these connection issues with friendships in my own life too. I’m embarrassed to say that a lot of times I give up on girls because I just don’t want to deal with the drama and I’ve had friends unfriend me too probably for the same reason.

Life is messy. There are no fairy tales. Sometimes connections get broken beyond repair.  #BurntTurkeyIsInedible BUT you can always laugh about it and order some pizza. Choose joy and choose who you partner with wisely. Fight the good fight of faith and don’t get stuck in a rut or take your ball and go home. God wants you on the team. He’s putting you in the game of relationships!

Posted with my husband's permission. His comment: "hope this helps some other battling chefs out there" 😜

Someday You Will

A big oak tree flanked the drive way of our rental house. It was one of the biggest trees in our yard. Maybe about 25-30 years old or so. Still young for a tree. It was April but, unlike the other trees, it showed no signs of waking up from it’s winter nap.

Those of you that know me know how much I love trees. I began to pray for the tree to wake up. For God to restore it. Maybe it was just a late bloomer? Each time I passed the tree, I rolled down my window and placed a hand on it and prayed. 

One day as I was praying and looking for signs of life, my next door neighbor came out. 

“That tree is dead and it needs to be cut down before it falls on my house.” 

Falls on your house? One limb dangled over her driveway. A little dramatic. And stop speaking death over my tree (hand on hip and I said this REALLY LOUD but only in my mind ;)

I responded, “I am hoping it will live.”
“We have a lot of trees in this town.” 
But not this one. Not this tree. For this tree, I have prayed. 

I brightened one day when my husband said there were buds on some of the branches. He knew I’d been praying. I was so excited! #HighFiveMoment
I rushed outside. I could see it! There were little green heads popping through on one side specifically. Over the next few days they even grew into mini-leaves. 

YES! Prayers heard and answered. 
God brings dead things to life. WAHOOO!!!
I was so pumped. It was the week of Easter/Resurrection Day. How fitting.
It reminded me of my own marriage being resurrected after divorce. 
And the tree lived happily ever after. End of story. God is good. 
Except that wasn’t the end of the story.

The big guy took a major turn for the worse over the following weeks. Bark started falling off one of its limbs in big chunks and then spread to the other limbs. The exposed flesh of the tree was pinkish. I thought of my own arm without the skin and without protection. Oh how those raw exposed sores sting and hurt. Constant pain. Make fun of me for being “sappy” but I thought of how it must be for the tree to be exposed. It hurt my heart. 

I prayed and I prayed. Please, God, let it live. Please. Please. Please. Those desperate type prayers. But when I would look up and see the raw flesh, I also didn’t want it to be in pain.  #TreesFeelPain #IguessIAmATreeHugger
Have you ever been in that place where you knew God COULD do something but He wasn’t? 

I heard one day, “The deader something looks, the better the resurrection.” Well, that sounded very promising but not grammatically correct. Hey, I'm not going to argue with God. So He would heal the tree…I mean, it happened for Lazarus. His rotting flesh was made new and he lived again in the same body. 

Every day, more and bigger chunks of bark welcomed me to the party of prayer like a turd in the punch bowl. The pinkish exposed flesh was turning brown now. And then the little leaves stopped growing, stunted and lost their vibrant green color. Welp, God, this is definitely “deader.” 
Still I prayed because the tree still stood but it wasn’t thriving. It was like a lifeless body in a hospital bed kept alive only by the machines of my prayers… 

I asked my husband if the really bad limb, the one that looked like it had leprosy, if it was cut off, would it maybe save the tree? Cut off the cancer. So he reached out to the landlord. They were having a tree doctor come look at it because my darling neighbor had already called them. ;) What a peach! :)

Maybe the tree doctor had a magic bean in his bag to make it grow up to heaven. 

Ha -that would show my tree-hating neighbor!  ;) #mypride#likesbeingright #loveyourneighborasyourself

The tree doctor’s report came: The tree would have to be cut down. When a limb had been cut off the previous year, it had been infected by the tree trimmers spikes from another diseased tree. Maybe if they'd caught it early. Maybe not. But, now, it was too far gone.

I was sad...I still prayed because whether this tree lived or not, I know God is so involved in my life. I know He is doing something. Teaching me things as a good Father.
I heard a teaching about John, the Baptist, and Jesus’s interaction. 
My version in a nutshell ;)
John was in prison and sent Jesus a message.

John’s modern day text to Jesus:

“Hey JC. It’s your cousin. Remember me? They locked me up for taking care of your business. I hear you can pull some strings since you are in charge now?”

Jesus sent a message back to John in prison:
Yep, I’m doing lots of miracles in lots of places for lots of people. Can’t help ya, cousin. don’t get mad. 

John reading it shaking his head: can’t or won’t
Jesus: con’t 

So, no, Jesus didn’t send an angelic swat team to rescue John. He warned John “Blessed are those who aren’t offended by me.”
I imagine John had a major reason to be offended. This was life and death- someone who could have saved you not only from prison but from death but he didn’t. He was BEHEADED! Horrific.

Pretty rough…Like when we send a text or a “prayer request” to family or friends or post it on facebook.. kind of hinting that you need some real human help and the response is: I’ll pray for you. 
Good luck with that… 

The expectations we have of how life should go. How people should respond to us. How God should answer us and in our timing. 

We know the weeds in our life need to die: pride, selfishness, striving, fear.
A structure built in our childhood. When that root system is bringing death, it has to be ground down and our roots re-established. Self protection must fall like the bark from the tree.

But it’s so much harder when it’s something that once sustained us, brought us joy or life or something we really really really wanted to happen. 

And what about beautiful things that die too early, too young, or when we aren’t ready or don’t want them to die? A hope in our heart, a child, a parent, a business, a job, a friendship, a marriage, a relationship to someone we thought was “the one.” 
Something that was at one time so vibrant, so alive, so life giving that we didn’t want to have a life without it? 
What then?
I thought about what I’d heard before, “The deader something looks, the better the resurrection.” 
Jesus. 
Stakes driven through his hands and feet. The piercing of his side. He didn’t get off the cross early. He stayed because death was required and what He sent was so much greater than had he not died. Would something greater come as a result of this loss? My heart felt better. Yes, that was who God was. A giver of good gifts. Jesus said in John 16 that it was best for us that he die, because if he didn’t, then He couldn’t live inside us through the Holy Spirit. 
The deader something looks, the better the resurrection. He saved the world with His death.
So, yes, good things sometimes do need to die for something greater to live within us IF we don’t turn away from Him or believe a lie. 

I do not like when the formula (promise) I use doesn’t add up.

John 14:14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
Ask for tree to live——check
Asked in Jesus name—-check
The Tree lived!——nope 

But I think sometimes in life, I don’t like what God is doing so I try it a different way because I don’t like the season I’m in…rather than asking, resting…trusting… I know He is okay with that. Even Jesus said, “Father, take this cup from me” but followed it up with, “Not my will but your will.” We ask but ultimately we submit to His way even if it’s not the way we would have chosen. 

Hope against hope, I prayed. 
When they came to cut the tree down, I went to my back yard and I sat down underneath a canopy of other trees (yes, there are more trees in this town) and I cried. My prayers unanswered. I said, “God, what? What are you saying? I know you know the number of hairs on my head so you know my heart. I won’t walk away from this situation and believe that you aren’t anything other than a good Father who loves me, hears my prayers and cares for me.” 

For me, what I’ve learned so far about my tree is it equaled the Death of expectations. How I think things should go down. 

Will I believe in His goodness even when I don’t see? Jesus said to Thomas…Blessed are they who did not see and yet believed.” Jn 20:29 

I heard in my heart, “Your home is not here.” It was true. We were renting this house and Hebrews 13:14 says, “For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.”
I thought of after Jesus death when Mary was so heartbroken and the angel met her when she was looking for his dead body, he said, “He is not here, He is risen just as He said He would.” 

Something powerful happens in Heaven when we experience a death here on earth. Something is born into our life that is not of this world. 

I have to say, each day as I drive by the blank spot in my yard and I see where the stump was ground and covered with dirt as if it never existed, I’m not happy about it but I’m working through it. 

I don't get to see Jesus with my human eyes and I don't get to see my tree. 

I was listening to Steven Furtick and he said many think the opposite of faith is doubt but it’s not. The opposite of faith is sight. Will I believe even when I don’t see? Yes, God, I will love you. I will trust You. I will believe. 

Jesus said in John 13:7 "You don't understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.” 

Don’t get stuck in the why's or the what if's? That, my friend, is a dead end road. Work through it with God until it is well with your soul. Forget the pain of what lies behind. Someday we will understand and we will have the eyes to see the resurrection of what we lost.

For the Love of Biscuits

For the Love of Biscuits

Got to my hotel after midnight in Norfolk. I was exhausted but I needed a plan for my 30 hour layover. I yelped the area and found a yummy brunch place: 
Handsome Biscuits
4.5 star with 729 reviews! 
That my friend is a winner winner chicken dinner. 
It was 1.2 miles away about a 20 minute or so walk-totally do-able for me. 

I woke up groggy and HONGRY-
I wondered if the biscuits were tired? Cuz they’d been running through my mind all night
(*cheesy pick up line for biscuits*)

I verified with the concierge before I left. “I’m headed out to Handsome Biscuits-is that a safe walk?”
“Yeah, for sure.”
“How far is it?”
“It’s about a 10 minute walk towards downtown. Totally safe and a great place.” 

I cross the street towards downtown and turn on my gps. Now it says my warm buttery biscuit is 2.5 miles away and a 54 minute walk? Sometimes when I am on the upper story of a hotel, my phone map doesn’t work well. I started to go back in to the hotel to clarify but I thought I could use a brisk walk and he said it was safe and a downtown area. I decided I would just keep on trucking. 

I don’t sweat much -I sparkle haha. However, I was about .5 a mile in and the front of my shirt was dotted with “sparkles.” I was a huffin’ and a puffin’ Apparently Norfolk was experiencing a heat wave. 92 degrees. Our hotel is near the water so it was that muggy sticky kind of heat. ugggggh. Downtown was now behind me so clearly the front desk guy misunderstood the place I was looking for. I was too far in to turn back.

I prayed that God would hide me under the shadow of his wing cuz the further I walked the more dicey the area became. I walked and I walked and I walked some more until my legs were wobbly. I called my husband because I was getting a little nervous. My husband told me the last 6 blocks looked rough on google maps and my surroundings confirmed it. He wanted me to uber but i would have to wait for an uber and I wanted to keep moving. God, why would you send me on a dangerous path? I prayed for Him to lead and guide me that day and that’s why I kept going because I had entrusted my day to Him…but I felt uncomfortable. I was walking and some scary people were eyeballing me. The further away from my hotel I walked, the scarier it was. I looked at my phone. I had been walking in the hot sun for 45 minutes. The restaurant was close-.5 a mile. I turned left as instructed and now I was walking along a tiny desolate side road that ran beside the train tracks with empty warehouses surrounding me. I started all out running. I was praying but I still felt pretty scared that someone would jump out of the warehouses and get me. 

I am running in my flips flops with a backpack on my back like a weirdo when finally see a street with some signs of life ahead and the promised “Handsome Biscuit” sign beamed like an oasis in the desert. 

It was a hole in the wall for sure but I’d made it. If I didn’t get my biscuit and some iced tea I thought I might perish. *deep sigh and back of the hand to forehead 

While I was standing in the somewhat long line yelp had warned me of, this beautiful carmel colored baby girl held her arms out to me and wanted me to hold her. Her family was behind me in line and dad gave me the nod so I scooped the chubby little cutie up. She just looked at me in wonder with these beautiful big brown eyes and a pink pacifier sticking out of her mouth. I asked her young daddy, “Are you a good daddy? He said “Yes ma’am.” I responded, “You have a beautiful gift from God and she is looking to you.” I put her down but she kept coming back to me so I kept holding her.

I finally had a cold beverage and the biscuit was everything I thought it would be and more. 

After my freaking out phone call, my husband had “highly recommended” I uber back so I did. Honestly that wasn’t much better than the walk only shorter. I even UberXL’d it thinking it would be a a better experience but the rusty dented acura that rolled up was not my idea of rolling in style (plz don’t judge me for judgin’ but I just needed something clean and safe. What choice did I have? Walk back along the tracks? So I got in. The guy had crusty sores and marks on his arm. He needed a bath like I did. The car wreaked of cigarette smoke. A ROACH crawled on my foot and I eeked. 

I grew up in a trailer. A house I regularly stayed at was infested with roaches so I’m not above it for sure. I felt like God showed me something about my trip.

You gotta risk it to get the biscuit! JK

I thought I was going for my love of biscuits but I really felt like God led me to that place: Love won’t always be comfortable, clean, or “roach-free” He sends us to those on the outer edge of our comfort zone. He wanted me to pick that baby girl up and pray over her even if just in my head and to let her daddy know she was watching him. I know I was called to walk that road but I don’t know all the details of how I prepared the way, I just know that my steps are guided by the Lord. 

Many of us, as Christians and non-Christians alike, have “worked hard” and made decisions to create beautiful bug free spaces to inhabit. We don’t want to venture into the unlovely or dirty places because we want to stay clean but guess what? Love knows no boundaries and sees past the dirty faces. 

Jesus loved the leper on the side of the road. Talk about dirty-that was CONTAGIOUS. He stood between the adulteress and her rock wielding accusers, Jesus activated the woman at the well regardless of all her “husbands.” He was UNAFRAID and He’s given us the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions and that nothing will in any way harm us so why do we stay in our lily white pristine clean "safe" places? 

Jesus wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty and he wasn’t scared to go into darkness . This was a little lesson that I don’t need to forget where I am called or where I came from. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty or let your heart sparkle in the most unlikely places. God is with you. The people are transformed with the light and hope you carry and the biscuit is well worth it! The Lord is with you mighty warrior. You have nothing to fear!

All I Do Is Win ;)

On my way to a coffee shop and the hubs and I had an interesting convo. We were talking about trees and the benefits of different kinds as we look for houses. I decided to go abstract on him. "If you were a tree what would you be?" He was an oak. Deep roots. Strong. I said I thought I might be a magnolia but I didn’t know why. He said they were soft on the outside with delicate flowers but were a hardwood on the inside. I said, “I like that because it means my core is strong.” (btw he loves these kinds of conversations: NOT but he played along with me cuz he knows it makes me happy to connect in that kind of way ;)

I truck on in to the coffee shop and settle down in my comfy chair. The lady next to me has a tree tattoo with roots traveling down her upper arm. Trees. I notice confirmations like this because God usually has some message for me to deliver and He is showing me a sign. 

So I asked God: “What do you have to say, Lord?” 

My friend, Lisa, had given me a printed prophetic word earlier in the day.

The highlights of the word she gave me: 

“You are an arrow!!!!”(Lisa always uses minimum 2 exclamation points and this was 4 so God really meant it) You WILL hit the mark right on center!!! (3!’s) Bulls eye!!!! (4!’s) :)

I felt like this card was to be “re-gifted” to tree lady and I heard a few more things I jotted down: 3-5 year plan/strategy. God wanted to know her wants vs. needs and for her not to think too much about it. If she felt like she needed it now, to ask. He will provide for her needs NOW. The wants would be fulfilled but it would take a little time. I wrote “He’s building something that will fulfill your hearts desires.” <——that was the wants and it would be coming. I shared that I also felt like she was prophetic and I wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know. 

I awkwardly interrupted her from her earphones and she graciously listened wide-eyed as I shared the word above not really given me any confirmations until the end and then she just put her hands over her face and cried. She said she REALLY REALLY needed to hear that today. She had been sitting there for 2 hours uninspired and had been taken some serious hits from the enemy as of late. She turned her computer around and said seriously, “Let me show you what I was working on earlier.” The document said 1 yr plan, 3 yr plan, 5 yr plan. Then she opened up the graphic for her non-profit. Two arrows crossed with feathers and her ministry is called: RAISING ARROWS! 

Raising Arrows
Her ministry helps families where CPS is involved. The ministry coordinates with willing host families to care for the children rather than the sweet little ones going into the foster care system while momma focuses on getting well. If momma agrees, she can work on her life challenges while the children stay with a loving family who expects nothing in return. Sometimes momma and/or daddy don’t get clean and the children stay with the family but the goal is to restore the family if at all possible. The government doesn’t understand her…”Why would you care for someone else’s children without receiving money like a regular foster family?” they ask. It’s simple: LOVE. The Father’s Heart. Because He asked her to and she said yes. That’s why. People don’t understand the force and power of the love of God. 

A picture of Makenzie Beaver and her beautiful family. She and her husband grew up without a lot of love so the love they carry is supernatural...not born of this earth but planted by God. They have two adopted children and 5 of their own. One of her children was born addicted to meth but is thriving now :)

If you feel led, please share this story and/or the link for her ministry. 

https://www.raisingarrowsministry.org

What I learned: 

Ever have those days in the prophetic where you think “All I do is win?” Yeah, doesn’t happen for me very often either ;) It’s more like the #nailedit photos. I included one cuz they crack me up and because as hard as we try, we will "miss it" sometimes but God works it all for our good and His glory.

In the prophetic we do our best to paint the picture God is showing us in our head. We see in part. We prophesy in part. This time that picture was a song that I had the honor of singing right on key ;) AND WOAH it was so fun to be part of delivering this message! 

Why was this prophetic word right on target #bullseye?

1.
Partnership-Unity.
Lisa and I did this TOGETHER. Unity: it’s where the anointing flows. Ps. 133:1-2 I LOOOOOOOVE kids! AND Lisa and her husband both have a heart for children too #greatestparentsever

2.
Agreement.
I wasn’t as much prophesying or declaring Makenzie's future as I was reading her blueprint and agreeing with it. Sometimes it takes 2 keys to unlock a door. She had hers and I just put my key in the lock and voila it opened!!!!

3. Ask
She asked-she was reaching out to God but the door stayed closed so He sent me!
Ask God to confirm you are on the right track. Even while I was writing this, my coffee I ordered looked just like a tree to me! LOL #confirmation#openeyesandears

4. Obedience.
SO IMPORTANT. We are sometimes distracted and we don’t hear Him. Be intentional to ask Him to lead you in your day. We think we are dreaming things up but we are SO led by God if we’ve surrendered to Him. You just might be the answer to someone’s prayer or have the exact key that fits the lock of the door they are trying to open.

Surrender prayer if you would like to pray: Holy Spirit, lead me and guide me. I’ll go where you want, when you want and say what you tell me to say. I am willing to look foolish. I’ve lost sight of my pride and myself. This isn’t about me, it’s about you. I surrender my pride and fear to you. Bring me friends I can share this gift with and pour out your anointing. All for you, God. In your name we ask and pray.

The O.C. - The show God Produces

Sitting at a trendy coffee shop in Orange County. A girl vacates the table next to me and an adorable young blonde girl comes and sits down. She looks so much like Kate Hudson that I do a double take. Was she a star? I AM in Cali.

Out of nowhere, tears spring to my eyes and my heart is flooded with compassion. Am I about to start my girl time of the month? I have this overwhelming urge to go scoop this girl up in a bear hug. I hear, “She is precious to me. She has an important destiny.” I am so overcome with emotion that I could just see myself picking up and blurting it out. *Tears streaming down my face "Kate, Jesus loves you." blah, blah blah cuz it is actually pretty close to that time for me ;)
Ummm, that would be weird
I sit there blinking tears back and I ask God what to do. I look at her computer. My eyes land on a red sticker. Red Light. This is for prayer. 

What do I pray? I see her shirt. There’s a little rope lacing up her shirt. She is entangled with something or someone. It's keeping her from her destiny. God, set her free so she can fulfill this important destiny in Jesus name. She is the star of one of God's shows here on earth. Yeah, bet you didn't know God INVENTED The OC ;) She was one of His main characters. His hidden star. 

I see a picture in my mind of her winning a race. Jumping up and down. HAPPY girl! Victorious. 

Lord, carry her if necessary to the finish line of life. For SOME reason the finish line looked like baptism to me. Let her fulfill the call on her life. Finish her race and answer your call. Play her part.

I gave God an open door to change things up: if I am misinterpreting the signs, please show me somehow. If she speaks to me God, I will deliver this message in person. 

Really important to ASK when to pray and when to say. It’s critical actually. Some are more “pray-ers” and some are more “say-ers” We open the door for attack for ourselves and the person God loves when we don’t stop at His red lights. We miss VITAL opportunities when we sit at the green light. It’s a window of time. Be trustworthy and faithful. Obedient to WHATEVER He says and NEVER EVER discount the power of prayer.

Rolling With Seal Team Six of Heaven

Rolling With the Seal Team Six of Heaven

Cooking dinner and I check my schedule with the airlines for the next day:

RELEASED *all caps* YAAAAAASSSSSS

Jennifer does her happy dance in the kitchen and calls husband.  PAR-TAY! (Cuz my definition of PAR-TAY these days is laying in bed in my draw string pants and watching a movie ;)

My phone rings 15 minutes later:  “Flight Attendant Weiss we have an assignment for you returning tomorrow night.

“What happened to my release for tomorrow?”

“Oh yea, we took that away.”

“Thanks a lot.”  *said sarcastically but professionally.  Sometimes I can’t hide my sassy.

A trip leaving at almost midnight…on a friday…WUH WOH (charlie brown knows what I’m talking about)

It was a super simple trip, a turn to Austin, but the last thing I wanted to do was go out of town by myself on the weekend.

I fought the discouragement of the bait and switch of a release.  Then I had another idea.  I was staying in one of my fav hotels in austin…and I had an 18 hr layover there.  It WAS the weekend so maybe hubby would want to go and explore with me.

Hubby’s response: “I think I’ll stay here and work around the house”  Double bummer.  I’ve been doing something lately when i feel alone, I say, “God you are always with me. I am never alone.”

I got to the plane for the late night departure as the flight attendants were leaving the aircraft.  They were not happy campers. “I do not know why you are here.” Thanks, glad to see you too and BTW I don’t really want to BE HERE!  Let’s just call scheduling and sort this out.  It was past my bed time. My draw string pants were waiting.

The other flight attendant leaving the aircraft said, “This is some bullsh*#.  I’m calling our union.  We were on this trip and for NO reason they took us off and assigned reserves.  So instead of a cool hotel and having fun in Austin we are staying at some dump in Dallas.”

“Well, call scheduling,” one of the other reserves said.
“We did.  They refused to give the trip back.”  She said smartly.

I KNEW then that God had pulled some major strings to get me to Austin.  I felt the importance.  Austin was key and He needed me there.  I had purpose.  I gotta admit I felt a little like Seal Team Six being called in to take out Bin Laden but I really wasn’t sure what exactly the mission was.

It was an easy, short flight where most passengers slept.  I get to the hotel and write some things down for Austin in my “Fly Girl Journal” I created to help me be intentional on my travels.  I know He sends me to places to decree His Kingdom come.  It was 2 am.  I was exhausted and  fell into bed.

I woke up the next morning in my swanky hotel.  God had really sent me in style this time. :)  I focused on the fun and planned out my food stops for the day.  FIRST: EAT at Stella Jac’s THEN prayer walk it off at the capitol SO I could EAT once again.  #soundslikeasplendidplan

I ate and had a divine appointment with a table of ladies next to me.  Mission accomplished :)  I still planned on going to the capitol so I could walk off my 4 course brunch.

Normally when in Austin, I just truck on inside the gates to the Capitol and start to worshiping and praying but this time I felt a strong caution from the HS.

In my immaturity, I have overridden the cautions of the Holy Spirit.  One time, I decided I was going to take my town back from the devil and made some pretty brash declarations when I did not get a green light from God.  A car wreck on Halloween just a few weeks later taught me a very valuable lesson:  You don’t call the enemy into a street fight without getting bloody and, by God, if you are warring it better be because God has drafted you and that it is, in fact, your battle to be in.  #SentByGod

I stood in front of the gates of the Texas State Capitol and felt the distinct impression I would have to be in TUNE with the Holy Spirit or bad things would happen and the mission would be aborted or be failed!  #eyesandearsopen As I said, I’ve been walking long enough with JC to listen to that caution voice without getting into fear.  You don’t jump into a fight but IF YOU ARE put in the battle, by God, you don’t back down from it either because the battle is the Lords.

So I stayed outside the gates in obedience.  I took the roughly mile and a half walk around the outer perimeter of the Capitol.  I listened to Rita Springer’s Battles CD and I sang quietly to God.  I passed another gate of entrance.
“Not yet”

By not rushing in through the gates but praising Him first, some of the lyrics were so speaking to me “Every Battle is Yours… And all I did was Praise and all I did was worship…Great Defender…so much better your way.”  All I was doing:  Loving on God and being obedient and IT WAS POWERFUL.  I could feel it.  I felt literal gentle pressure of a hand on my shoulder guiding me.  That was a first and I felt so safe.  Right under the shadow of His wing.

I came to another gate, Enter now, Lord?
Still
“Not yet”
#IDontHaveToUnderstandToObey
I kept walking just a short distance until I realized I had walked around the entire perimeter.

I hit shuffle and a song came blasting through my headphones, “Let’s start a war!  Let’s start a love war!”

It was a major change in tempo from the peaceful worship songs that had cycled through on my long walk.

I heard as clear as day:  “NOW!”

Crud, what does that mean?  Do WHAT now?

You know the scene in Brave Heart where the opposing army is coming straight towards his army on the battlefield but William Wallace chants, “HOLD…..HOLD! HOLD!
And then when William Wallace calls out “NOW!”  His army drops their position of defense by lowering their shields and they unexpectedly picked up their weapons and the enemy had no time to react but ran right into their spears.  #lovethatpart

I had been “holding.”  It had to be the right moment.  And apparently that moment was NOW.  #saidwithaBraveHeartyell

I looked in front of me.  A guy and girl were walking into the Capitol grounds.  I chuckled. The back of his shirt said “Get Your Guns Up”  #TexasTechieswillgetit  I didn’t have a gun but I got my worship on :) #theweaponswefightwitharenotofthisworld #enterHisgateswiththanksgivingandpraise

It was seriously like I had to get in there right that second.  I know a little drama but it’s like the moment where the seal team ropes in except it was just little old me with my flips flops and sweaty arm pits.  I felt like my worship was the doorway for heavens army to enter. I had no spear but Gods Angel Armies got some guns so I followed the couple with the shirt inside the gates.  Maybe the army was roping down on Jacobs ladder?

SO MUCH HAPPENED inside those gates that I COULDN’T POSSIBLY WRITE IT ALL without it being a book. So I will share some of it.

I went in and, at first, nothing really happened.  I was still worshiping and jotted down some of the lyrics from different artists because I felt like they were commanding the atmosphere around our state capitol to change.

I sang out with the lyrics quietly, “We release the sound to break through the atmosphere and we release it now.  Your people call you near…Could this be the hour?  Could this be the day of new beginnings? Could this be the time?  In our generation.” Sean Feucht

“There is a blood that cost a life to pay my way. Death it’s price when it flowed down from the cross, my sins were gone.  My sins forgot” Rita Springer

After walking for almost a solid hour inside the gates, I found myself at the Texas State Capitol steps and people were streaming inside.
I had another strong impression:  “Not yet. We haven’t taken the entrance yet.”
I normally don’t hear God with such clarity… so I was like: I might be hearing things and dreaming this up but it kind of made sense so I asked for a confirmation.  My eyes settled on one of those orange construction cones tucked in an out of the corner of the deep windows.  It really had no reason for being there.  I felt like God was saying “caution.”

So I moved to some steps on the side and I sat there waiting for God’s angels to do whatever they were doing LOL!  #probablykickingsomeenemybutt #woohoo  meanwhile I wasn’t SAYING anything to the enemy I WAS WORSHIPING!  I was praying to God the things on my heart for our beautiful state.

I heard “Turn the worship music on.”
I responded, “Check! Already done.”  #teacherspet

“No, out loud.”
WHAT?  There were tours going on and it was a Saturday.  In Austin.  There were LOTS of people.
I sat on the steps and turned it on really low. #partialobedience
I heard “Louder”
I have a thing about loud noises and that we don’t get to disturb other people with our loud phone calls or music.  My freedom can’t infringe on anothers.

I heard again “LOUDER”  I looked around and NOW there was NO ONE around me.  A confirmation from God.
So I cranked it (but not obnoxiously loud;) I could probably get escorted off the property if I disturbed the peace.  I was a little nervous looking around for the po-po
and I am not kidding, a black crow flew from the side straight at me.  I saw it almost like in slow mo (i almost messed my pants)

THANKFULLY there was a gate/guard rail in front of me.  It landed right next to me on the other side of the gate and started with a piercing noise followed by squacking, ruffling it’s feathers.  It did NOT like my worship music.  I got some video after I recovered from my heart palpitations and checked my pants.

Then I was a little miffed.  How dare this crow harass me so if we are going with the seal team six theme I did a little rat-tat-tat by speaking the name of Jesus.  He started BACKING up!  CRAY!  The name of Jesus is powerful Y’ALL!

More people were coming so I put my headphones back in and that was okay.  I felt like the enemy had been evicted with worship :)

What now, God?
“Wait.”So I did.  I did some not so seal team six moves.  I texted.  I took some selfies ;)  #sealteamsixprobdoesselfies

This 80-something man and woman with a cane came up to the bottom of the side stairs I was sitting on.  She handed her sweet husband her cane and began what looked to be a painful walk slowly up the stairs.  I saw her cross necklace and she had a red shirt on. #bloodofChrist

“I heard follow them to the top.  They’ve fought the good fight of faith and they’ve been found faithful.”

So I lagged a little behind because I was arguing with God about being now being a stalker.  I realized she had walked up the steps instead of taking the ramp right behind me.  I would have missed her had she taken the ramp.  The steps were not easy for her to navigate.  So now I had a confirmation. I obeyed and caught them both in the hallway.  I don’t know where the boldness came from - prob because I was afraid that my "stalker" arguing with God caused a missed opportunity -  so I walked up and said, “Hi, I was outside praying on the steps for our state.  For some really specific things that I was wondering if you would agree in prayer on.”  They wholeheartedly agreed. I asked if there was anything I could pray for them over and the husband explained Karen’s back was causing her a lot of pain so we prayed for that too.  We hugged and parted ways and by that time I was hungry again :) So I had to go carb up after the battle ;)

What I learned in Austin:

Had I given into my pity party about the rescinded release or that I would be alone once again, I would’ve completely missed it this opportunity.  Things that don’t look like they are going our way may be GOD SET UPS for miracles.

Obedience in the moment is imperative.  I DO NOT jump out in front of him but nor do I lag behind. Ask for a confirmation and then MOVE!  I don’t get to think about it or decide whether I want to do it.  Or worry about if I will look silly.   If I am thinking about myself then  my eyes are on me. If I am worried about misrepresenting God then my eyes are on others. #EyesOnGod Timing with God is critical.   If I’m worried about these things then I will get distracted.

PRAYER IS WAR!  Worship makes war without me having to fight in my own strength.  Love is war.  Operating in these things takes ground for the kingdom WHEN done in obedience to God’s leading. #HisWayIsBest #OnlyFoolsRushIn I don't have to get bloody in the war. I get to be completely Hidden under the shadow of Gods wing and I get the honor of writing about it!

Ask God to send you on your very own Holy Ghost Adventure.  It’s so fun rolling with God and His army  #SealTeamSixofHeaven

#SealTeamSixofHeaven