Young Love, It Makes No Sense

YOUNG LOVE

We were created to love and be loved by our Maker.  There’s no getting away from it. He designed the world that way.  We hope and we put our heart out there and we invest our time and attention into a new relationship hoping for love.  Hoping our love and our investment will be returned and not rejected.  

Love makes the world go round, right?  (actually that’s false. delete that. Love does not make the world go round.  that’s not possible unless you consider that God is love and He made the world.  Okay, okay let’s keep it in)

A new relationship, whether it be romantic or a friendship, can draw excitement to inhabit our tummy like butterflies in a jar…  My son wrote a poem about the impetuousness of this shallow kind of love.  It included the succinct and true words, “Young Love, It makes no sense.”  Still, young love can be a floating balloon full of hope at the possibilities of what might be, what could be, and maybe even some what should be. 

Come to think of it, we had a helium filled birthday balloon floating around our house for a few days. True story.  (Don’t worry, I’m not getting distracted. This story has a point) Somehow the balloon got loose and travelled up to the top of our high ceilings where we couldn’t reach it.  It’s head was in the clouds-all hopped up on helium— so we had to wait for it to come down (kind of like young love).  

The balloon floated aimlessly behind Tanner one day when he was watching TV downstairs.  Creepy.  He pushed it over into the corner.  He went upstairs to take his shower but when he opened the door there it was…waiting for him like a stalker balloon.  He may or may not have screamed.   Convinced the wayward balloon was possessed, Tanner took it outside where the wind carried it away to haunt him no more. This was way more hilarious in real life.

When someone disses our love, we can act like the creeper balloon.  We hover waiting for them to change and choose us only to find we are left out in the cold.   It hurts.  What happens when the young love balloon gets popped? maybe the balloon loses it’s shimmer and shine and is thrown in the trash.  What if someone sucks the helium out of our balloon to make their voice squeaky and get a laugh? Okay, that one doesn’t fit, but I simply couldn’t pass it by… this was getting too heavy. I had to lighten it up… never mind. poor timing on that one.

Seriously though, love seems to be the phone call we’ve all been waiting on.  Someone to find value in us, notice us, be attractive and attracted to us.  We excitedly see the phone number or text pop up on the screen. It might be a new friend or a new love interest, but it’s our chance… an opportunity for the connection our heart desires…a chance to love and be loved.   The tenuous connection is strengthened with every phone call, kind word, gift or paid check.  But what happens when there is static on the line?  What happens when the connection is lost?  Or worse, we get hung up on?

(Spoiler alert:Debbie Downer moment coming…I promise it gets better)

Here’s what happens when young love goes bad: It dies. Finito. Gone. Finished. It doesn’t go back to the way it was.  Dead. Sorry to burst your hope-filled helium balloon but (whispering this) it’s not real love anyway.  My son had it pegged by 6th grade, “Young Love, It Makes No Sense.”  It’s NOT REALLY ALIVE!  Like the balloon, young love loses it’s ability to stay high.   There’s no depth to it.  No anchor for it to weather the storms of life. It’s based on self and superficial smiles. We know nothing about the person only how they can make US feel. 

TRUE LOVE

Young love must die because it’s all about self: Me. my needs. Those are important, but we don’t have anything to give unless we have true love birthed in our heart through a dead seed of dying to self.  

Somehow, the process of those butterflies in our tummy get reversed.  Our Young Love Butterfly somehow transforms back into a caterpillar or our heart hardens in it’s shell like a cocoon.  There’s a metamorphosis to love that if we give up on it too soon, we never see the fulfillment:  True Love.    

Here’s the good news, when Jesus didn’t die and stay there, He was resurrected!  If we are willing to die the worldly ways of loving, it has the ability to be resurrected into a beautiful connection on every level:  TRUE LOVE.   It may be in a superficial relationship that grows deeper.  If both people arent willing to go deeper, True love may come by letting go of one relationship and God bringing us something new with a person who has been through the same run around and left young love behind.   

SO WHAT NOW?  

Friends will let us down and we will let them down. Some fall to the way side because they don’t want to go deeper.  When I let them down, they aren’t willing to give me an opportunity to work through it together, or I’m not willing.  We can decide whether we want to go the extra mile, man up ;) and communicate through it.  

I’m not suggesting anyone be a door mat or stay in an abusive relationship. NOT.AT.ALL.  Don’t allow who God created you to be die.  Never sacrifice yourself on the altar.  Only Jesus can do that.   Trust yourself and your feelings.  If you are feeling invalidated, unloved, an inequality, injustice or your heart hurts, talk to God about it.   Bring it out and show it to God.   He will bring areas  for your own growth and healing or lead you to a loving confrontation with the person you are in relationship with to help them grow. 

Some people won’t love us back.  We need to let that balloon go.  Stop participating in relationships where someone is not invested in it.  It will produce no good fruit.   

I won’t tell you to fall in love with Jesus or date Jesus.  I’ve done it…I think a lot of us have… It’s been a bit OVERdone and taken too literally.  Let’s face it.  Jesus’ lips aren’t physically in front of me to kiss me.  His arms aren’t holding me every night… So no, please don’t make out with your pillow and pretend it’s Jesus. (I know, I know spiritually He kisses and holds us…please just hear me out on this). I’m saying HE gives us provision for those things physically.  That’s why He created us for love and for relationship.  He believes in providing a real live person to be our friend, to  love and be loved by here on Earth if we desire it.  

My Suggestion:  Become aware of His presence and He will reveal Himself to you.  Call Him a few times a day.  Establish that connection.  Spend time with Him being still, receiving His love, talk to Him, ask Him questions.  Let your loneliness turn into a connection with Him.   He will give you provision and meet your needs through deep and quality friendships and a spouse if you desire it.  One that will be made of substance, a mutual respect and true love.  The kind of love that will endure the test of time.    

IT'S THE YEAR OF THE UNDERDOG

There’s an idea that’s been bubbling up within me sporadically since summer.  No, I don’t think it’s gas…  It feels more like celebration…the expensive bubbly kind that tickles your noise and goes down smoothly on New Years Eve while you kiss the one you love at the stroke of midnight.*

*(Insertion of legal disclaimer) For my concerned christian friends, no I’m not an alcoholic.  I wish that I had some of the bubbly available as I rang in the New Year.  Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, my new years eve was spent juicing and in my pajamas all day while watching a Lifetime Movie Network marathon about women who kill their husbands…I stayed sober to avoid the temptation. ;)

But I digress, the idea that has been giving me the warm and fuzzy feeling since New Years is my theme for my 2014:  

It’s the year of the underdog*

  

 *(please don’t confuse my 2014 theme with the chinese “year of the dog”…it’s  the year of the UNDERdog.  see definition below)

underdog

ˈəndərˌdôg, 

*1. a competitor thought to have little chance of winning a fight or contest.

**2. a person who has little status in society.

***Origin:  Late 19th century: with reference to the beaten dog in a dogfight.

It’s way more fun to root for the underdog and see her (or him) win.  Games and movies where the highly favored team goes down to the Bad News Bears make me so happy that I cry. (I may be dating myself with that one). It’s exciting to watch movies like Secretariat or Miracle on Ice.  No one enjoys a movie where the giant wins.  We like the little guy to come out on top.  

God must like to root for the underdog too.  Read about Gideon and his army of 300.   The classic David and Goliath match up.   God always had the “remnant.”  Out of a gazillion or a bazoodle of people, only a few people stayed loyal and devoted to love Him when everyone else was loving their gold cows. (Can’t you see a rapper wearing a bunch of gold chains with a big golden calf square in the middle of his chest. You’re welcome for that visual ;)  God likes to play the odds and WIN!

Below are some UNDERdogs that OVERcame that I know personally or “know of” in a roundabout way:

1.  JESUS the most famous underdog of all time.  Boy, did that one go bad for the devil.  The devil thought he had pulled one over on Jesus.  He counted Jesus out but he was wrong.  “Big mistake….Huge!” (Quote from Pretty Woman).  Jesus is the ultimate reason for the season in the Year of the Underdog.

2. TANNER   My son, Tanner, has always been the underdog. He had asthma almost from birth. His love for soccer started about that time as well.  The kid never gave up.  Tanner would be wheezing up and down the field getting hits on his inhaler on the sidelines so he could get back in to the game.  As other boys grew taller, Tanner’s coach told him he was too little to play on his team.  Tanner needed to grow before he could compete.  I was ticked off  Tanner didn’t listen or receive the negative words spoken by his authority.  He just kept practicing and never gave up.  He is a varsity starter on his high school soccer team now.  I am so proud that he lets no-one and no-thing stand in the way of his dreams.  My son is a conqueror.

3.  PEYTON MANNING(never met him but my husband likes his story so he made the cut)

Peyton Manning endured four surgeries in two years one of which fused his freaking spine together…with metal. He was dropped from his lifelong football franchise, the Indianapolis Colts and given a chance by another less successful team.  Last month, at the age of 37, with steel rods holding his neck together, he took his team to the Super Bowl.  No, Peyton didn’t win the Super Bowl but he persevered and didn’t play victim and give up.  He had faith despite the deck being stacked against him. Peyton Manning proved everyone WRONG  that had counted him out, including the Indianapolis Colts who, by the way, DID NOT make it to the Super Bowl.  

4.  ME

First, I’m a girl and girls are natural underdogs.  I mean look at Hillary Clinton and Sara Palin.  We are asked “assist” or “help” but we don’t quite make the cultural cut to hold the highest office. (No, I am not running for President and this blog is not a sly way of stumping for your vote;) For whatever reason, we aren’t first choice as I said, underdog (from above definition ;)  **a person who has little status in society.

I’ve had people who were bigger and stronger than me who tried to “whip” me into shape and submission both mentally and physically.  I lost my voice and confidence because of these experiences and it was a hard fought battle to get them back.  I am now “kindly assertive” (Quote from Rebecca Lee Gates) 

To sum it up I’m a girl who has been rejected. Made some bad choices… I’ve failed a few times at love and marriage. I don’t have any of the qualities that make people spectacular like letters behind my name or even a college education.  I think I would fit squarely in the category of Underdog.  

THE TRUTH ABOUT UNDERDOGS

My Maker takes what the world sees as nothing and makes it beautiful in it’s own time.  I have had seasons….long ones…where I didn’t believe God loved me.  So many times in my life, I’ve gone rounds with the darkness taking it’s punches.  It hasn’t been pretty…a head shot, one below the belt, my nose is gushing blood, my eye is swollen but all the resistance  really makes me more determined to see this thing through to the final round where I, the underdog, get the victory thanks to Jesus. It's not always easy…but here's the good news, we win.  It’s not a lifetime underdog type situation.  We have to keep fighting the good fight of faith to stand in His love and our identity. 

  

God doesn’t love someone on a podium more than me or you. I don’t have to be invited to the inner circle to be cool. I KNOW I’m cool because the freaking CREATOR of the UNIVERSE calls me His own.  God likes that I freeze my butt off to look at the stars and talk to him in private because He means that much to me.  I’ve humbled myself before Him and He and I are co-captains of my destiny.  I’m willing and obedient and he blesses it.  I dream with God and He brings it to pass as I step out in faith.  I want Him more than I want fame or fortune but He promises me success.

NO VICTIMS IN HEAVEN ONLY OVERCOMERS 

We can whine that someone always gets there first and we have no opportunities… others are more “special”(John 5:1-9).  I whine…a lot…but to God because He’s the only one that can really help me. To say others have more opportunities may be true but it’s also a victim mentality and we are MORE than conquerors.   Victims aren’t underdogs because underdogs don’t give up.  Underdogs have courage like Jesus to face death and put the enemy to shame. Underdogs show up to the game like Peyton Manning-win or lose. They press through adversity like my son, Tanner and they keep trying to use their voice in an effective way to change the world like me.   

SECRET TO SUCCESS FOR THE UNDERDOG

“And don’t for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.”  Joshua 1:8-9 (msg ver)

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU BUT IT IS ABOUT YOU 

We are on the North Face of the mountain where not many feet have trod.   We may not have fan fare or be included in the Olympic mountain climbing team (if there is such a thing) but we climb nonetheless far from the site of others with God as our climbing partner.   I have to be willing to not faint, quit or give up but it’s not about relying solely on my strength.  It’s about my dependence upon God…continuing to climb the mountain  leaning into Him when I’m weak and don’t think I can go another step.  Our confidence doesn’t come from being accepted and winners. Our confidence comes from the One who has called us to be mountain climbers and world changers.   When we stand on the mountain top, we have conquered it and shout a hallelujah and give God some glory for giving us the strength to get us to the peak. 

TESTIMONY FROM A CERTIFIED UNDERDOG

I didn’t even know where my path would lead two years ago.  There were a lot of doors that closed in my face in the arena where I wanted to devote my heart and soul to but God has given me purpose and direction in my time alone with Him.    I received prophetic words over the last three years that I would write a book.  I tried to write but it was sporadic and never amounted to anything close to a book….until the Year of the Underdog.  

I started writing a fiction book on January 9, 2014 and finished it on January 30, 2014…my 42nd birthday…(definitely dated myself with that one) It took 21 days to write a 200 page book. With God’s help and my perseverance, I finished it! 

  

WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE AN UNDERDOG

You are His chosen One who wouldn’t play victim or bow your knee to anyone or anything other than Him. (or if you did this blog is bringing severe conviction ;)  You wanted the secret place with Him more than the applause of people. You’re the remnant.  The rag tag group who loves God.  You haven’t seen success…YET.

Well, it’s your year, by God!   Your time to rise up and stand on the mountain top.  To take back what the enemy has stolen.   It’s the Year of the underdog and God is betting on you.  Drink some bubbly and let’s toast to what the new year holds for you.  Praise God for the victory!

For more encouragement check out Peyton’s story:  http://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/redskins/peyton-manning-on-his-neck-surgeries-rehab--and-how-he-almost-didnt-make-it-back/2013/10/21/8e3b5ca6-3a55-11e3-b7ba-503fb5822c3e_story.html

Who's on Hairball Duty?

My bathtub was draining slowly.  There are few things I despise more than convoluting a coat hanger to wrench a hairball from my bathtub drain…that’s why I no longer do it.  “Honey, your hair has clogged the drain AGAIN!”  I yell sweetly to my co-heir in Christ.  

My wonderful husband was nominated by our party of five and elected to be Drain Duty President.  There is no expiration to this office.  It is a lifetime achievement award.  I mean it’s got to be mostly his hair, right? Shouldn’t he do the work to remove it?  ;)  

Don’t feel too sorry for my husband.  He secretly waits for opportunities to torture me with said hairball.  My gag reflex kicks in at what looks to be a dead rat waiting near my toothbrush to attack me. I hear him snickering from the other room as I scream.  I may as well come clean ;)  I have a hairball phobia.    

My heart can get clogged like that though.  One hair at a time, the emotions and problems of each day build up in my heart and I’m scared to clean them out.  Unfortunately, only I can be willing to expose what's in my own drain by being willing to face my fears.  These emotions seem to be stuck inside of me unless I deal with them.  If I try to stuff my emotions down, day after day, they will clog the arteries of my heart until no love is coming in or going out.  Writing is my personal Roto Rooter.   My pen or keystrokes are like Liquid Plumber.

For those of you with weak stomachs like me, I will focus on a different visual.  Working through the variety of my emotions can also be like detangling a big mess of colorful yarn.  

As I encounter emotional snarls through the week, I start feeling anxiety.  When I write to God, I unravel my mix of encounters or emotions that I couldn’t address in the moment. I write a ‘yarn” and I untangle my fears...fears about how I look, words I wish I could take back, weird looks people give to me, worries, ugly thoughts about people that don't line up with God's, when my husband and I disagree, my child disrespects me, someone says an unkind word to me or treats me poorly.   Most of what I write is never seen by anyone but me and God. Sometimes I cuss in my letters.  Sometimes I cry because it hurts.  I’ve found myself crying so hard that I couldn’t see through my tears to continue writing.  I didn’t want to write again for a few days after that because my heart needed some time to heal.

 Through my tenacious suffering, holding on to the working of all for good, My Maker brings me healing as I pull each thread and put it on paper. At the end of my rope, or yarn, I find freedom am no longer attached to the toxic emotions.  When my heart is open, He shows me how I could handle things differently through being more authentic and expressing and communicating my emotions in a healthy way. 

There’s an interesting legend about an impossible knot.  Whoever was able to unravel the “Gordian Knot” would be the future conqueror of all of Asia.  Many had tried to solve the intricate knot.  Alexander the Great was said to take his sword and cut swiftly and boldly through the middle of the knot.  It was a decisive and out-of-the-box move. 

God can do that for us. He can cut through all of our crap in one fell swoop of His sword.  If we let Him in. He can’t cut the knot if it remains in our heart or He would cut us in the process. It takes courage and trust to bring the pain to light.  It’s easier to hide it in the junk room.  We hang a sign on the door  “Do Knot Enter.” By shutting the door, we keep God out.   We don’t even have free hands to untangle it ourselves. It’s too big for us to work through alone because we were too young or there was too much pain.  Some of those things that we think we have buried deep within our hearts are affecting our beauty and freedom today. We are twisted and tied up. They are like strings that hold us in bondage to the past and cause us to be puppets of the enemy for our future.  

Our Maker tells us to present our petitions to Him and His peace will guard our hearts and minds. I know things may seem dark right now but it’s always darkest before the dawn.  God can bring light and beauty to the darkest of nights. Get it out of you and on paper.  Trust Him with your pain. When we trust Him with our petitions, He will bring us justice.  He takes care of Drain Duty and creates a pure heart. 

When I write, the room that said “Do Knot Enter” becomes clean and uncluttered.  He brings light to my darkness. I can see to co-labor with Him to spin the yarns together and create with God and you can too.  He can weave the dark threads together within you to make something beautiful.  It may be a song, a poem, a book, a painting, or even a business.   Whatever it is will be special and unique just like you.