Waitress in the Sky

In Tulsa last week and my fellow FA and I were debating on whether to stay at the hotel and be lame or get out and go downtown for an adventure.  The “drawstring pants” were definitely calling my name since I had a 3:45 am wake up call that morning and a 3:15 am wake up call the next day but being locked up in a metal tube with savages requires fresh air.  (just kidding! but seriously sometimes….) Our hotel would only take us 5 miles and that wasn’t going to get us to downtown so we had them go 5 miles and then drop us off on the corner for an uber ;) #gottasaveabuckortwo #itsarecession #flightattendantsbepoorfolks

Our uber lady, Connie, pulled up and we hopped in.  Somewhere on the short ride, she threw out the question, “What made you want to become a flight attendant?”    I started to share but my fellow flight attendant answered first.  While she spoke, I thought about whether God wanted me to share my story.  I mean those types of questions are just pleasantries for the most part.  Maybe it’s in the uber handbook to pretend to be interested so you get that 5 star rating?   I was kind of tired of sharing my story because a lot of people ask what made me want to become a flight attendant and the truth is I NEVER wanted to BE a flight attendant (I know that’s hard for those who have always dreamed of doing it).  It was truly an act of obedience to God.  

Three years ago, I was flying with my hubby for an anniversary trip and the flight attendants on that flight were FUSSY.  The flight attendant had just huffed and puffed that I dared asked for iced tea (hey i didn’t know and now I totally understand it’s a pain to make it!) I don’t hear God all the time, I normally have impressions and thoughts that feel like my own but that time I heard God say so clearly “You could change the atmosphere on an airplane because you have me inside of you.”  

I answered “That’s great, God, but I don’t want to be a waitress even if it is in the sky.  Been there. Done that.” #prideful but It became abundantly clear over the next year that is exactly where He wanted me.  Changing the atmosphere on airplanes and allowing His love to touch every person that boards the plane that I’m on.  What would you like to drink?  Oh coffee you say?  Well I'm throwing some Jesus in there too so when I pour a drink, they get a little taste of Him.  When I sit on my jumpseat and I pray (I should say when I remember to) they feel differently.  They get some hope placed like a little jewel in their heart.  Even if I never say the name of Jesus which I rarely do, He’s there…loving, touching, flowing through my hands.  There are so many days that I want to strangle entitled buttfaces and people who need control but can’t control the weather… but I know there are lots of days that I get to see miracles and divine appointments.  

Sometimes when I have shared my story people act like I am a real weirdo and maybe mildy paranoid schizophrenic #hearingvoices I really don’t give a rip what people think but I don’t want to waste my breath so I said, “God, if you want me to share it then she will ask me specifically.”  

Well, she did so I shared and was happy that I did.  Connie said that her pastor had started a new series and she and some ladies were meeting on Wednesday about….wait for it….HEARING THE VOICE of GOD.  She desired to hear Him but didn’t know how.  I asked if I could pray for her so she pulled over (don’t worry she stopped the meter.  I checked :)  I then noticed the small cross dangling from her mirror.  When she turned around to look at me, I saw her eyes and I can always tell in someones eyes if they love Jesus.  There’s a kindness there. It was a sweet moment and my fellow flight attendant who had grown up as a Christian but just wasn’t “buying it” anymore said she wanted to pray with us too.   I prayed for her to hear the voice of God and she prayed for protection over me on my travels which I’m a little bit of a scaredy cat so I was very appreciate. 

Moral of the story:  Your God stories are VALUABLE and life changing.  They carry power and don’t ever “get old.”  Ask God to create an opportunity for you to share your story or encourage you through someone else.

Making Out with a Sandwich and other Holy Spirit Led Adventures

A fellow flight attendant, we’ll call her Holly, and I were on a 3 day trip.  She was one of those fun flight attendants: not a control freak, or mental case and very chill (God love us…it takes a special kind of person to be a flight attendant;)   Her enthusiasm for life and adventure were contagious.  (see my blog on LA.  I had a blast with this chick) 

We were staying at a hotel in the hood and weren’t really interested in hanging outside at the liquor store or buying new tires at the tire store across the street so we ubered it out to downtown Boston.  We were planning on walking the Freedom Trail throughout the city.  The “trail” is marked by a red brick line that runs down the middle of the sidewalk.  If you follow the “red brick road” you can see the lions and tigers or bears.  JK you get to see the great history of Boston…Paul Revere “The British are coming” type stuff.  My fellow flight attendant was a Brit so I wasn’t sure if she was a Paul Revere fan or if she thought he was a “Benedict Arnold” - HA  Come to find out Holly had no clue who Paul Revere even was!

We were dropped off in the middle of the city and were told the red brick road was “close.”  I held my hotel provided map and flipped it around this way and that.  I studied it nodding and hmmmming but not really knowing what I was doing.  See, I am GEOGRAPHICALLY CHALLENGED.   One time, I told everyone I was going to Sweden when I was actually going to Switzerland.  It’s pretty bad. They don’t call me Wrong Way Weiss for nothing ;)   Turns out Holly is directionally impaired as well. #wemadeagreatpair We were trying to find that darn red brick line down the sidewalk that everyone we asked said “Right around the corner. Can’t miss it. It’s red” in their cool but snarky Bostonian accents. 

Instead of red bricks, we found ourselves in some wharf on the water.  I was like “Woah, is Boston on the ocean.  I still don’t know the answer to that question. “This doesn’t look right, does it?”  I said to Holly with the map upside down ;)  Holly said, “Why don’t we let our spirits lead us.”  I made up something about trying to get better at reading maps so I kept the map out like a safety blanket but I was pretty pumped about going with the Holy Spirit flow.  SO MANY DIVINE APPOINTMENTS happened on our few hours there in Boston.  #trusttheSpiritwithinyou

Holy Spirit Food Finders

First, and most importantly, my divine appointment with this breakfast sandwich.  JK but seriously it was awesome and God knows FOOD is my love language.  I was starving and I made out with that sandwich. See it’s already got a bite out of it.  I couldn’t wait to take the picture.  #Christiansarentsupposedtosaythingslikethat #2015longesthashtagawardwinner

Credit Cards

Next, we’re walking down the street and Holly leans over and picks something up off the ground, “I found a credit card.”  Upon further inspection, it was a doctor’s credit card from the UK (that’s basically Great Britain for those of you who don’t know. I didn’t know that until she told me.  I wasn’t kidding about the geographically challenged thing)  Anway, what are the odds of a credit card from the UK being under my British friend’s feet in Boston?  Holly was able to call and leave his assistant a message so he wouldn’t worry while “on holiday” (that’s how the Brits say it) Who knew the Holy Spirit would help a brother or Brit out with his lost credit card?

San Diego (and more food)

We went with our gut (and ate with it) all over that city and we were both usually in sync with the direction we felt led to go. We did locate the elusive red brick road and saw some cool sights.  We were too cheap (saving our $ for food) to actually go into Paul Revere’s House or the Old North church (a lot of the BOSTON Tea Party attendees were members).  It’s the same church where the term “One if by land, two if by sea” was introduced to warn if the British were coming.  One or two lanterns would be carried to the steeple to send the message.  The Holy Spirit is like that in our hearts.  We understand the Holy Spirit’s leading, even if He never says a word, His fire is burning in our hearts.  When we let our Spirits lead, we become aware of the direction He is sending us. We ended up at a local Bostom favorite.  They had just a handful of choices on their menu but the line was out the door and down the block so we HAD to try it.  The food was actually just okay but the divine appointment while waiting in line was splendid.  A dad and his son were in front of us.  They grew up in Boston and were back for a visit but now lived in San Diego.  Holly’s husband was currently IN SAN DIEGO because they were considering moving there.  He was able to give her a lot of details on where to live and where NOT to live based on what they were looking for.   She was being given direction through this divine appointment on her “next move” and what a sweet confirmation that San Diego was where she was being led!

Talking to a Queen

Next on the Holy Spirit’s hit list:  I met a young woman named Maria who was the barista at a coffee shop that Holly and I both felt led to go into.  She was wearing purple and I felt like God said she was royalty like Queen Esther so I told her.  I asked her where she was from and she, in turn, asked me.  She said her friend went to Christ for the Nations in Dallas.  I heard myself saying, “You’ll be there next year!” Wait, where did that come from? Who am I to make that kind of statement and what do I know?  She said, “My friend keeps asking and I want to but my husband isn’t on board.”  I felt like God said that He would take care of that and she wouldn’t have to say a thing!  It was so cool.  I felt God’s boldness in me to make such a statement and deliver this important marriage to give Maria the desires of her heart.

Maria read the blog I wrote and responded to me:  "After we had that brief conversation, I called my husband, I told him what happened. My heart felt so light. 

To make the story short; my pastor had asked me to translate the service. I told him I wasn't ready for that mission. I asked him to give me time to fast and ask God's guidance if that is what He wants from me. And when you compared me with #QueenEster, it came down to me that she (Queen Ester) worked to save her people... with me translating the service the Word of God will be preached to my people and save the lost ones (I believe). And, If God gave me the wisdom to speak 5 languages, its because He has plan with me.

You and I Spoke Friday and Sunday I approached my pastor and told him: "I think I'm ready!!" May the Holy Spirit guide you ALWAYS.

God was using her to deliver her people like Esther! What a sweet confirmation.

You may think “Well, goodie for Jennifer because that stuff never happens for me" but it CAN, if you will throw away what you THINK you know about God and ASK Him at every juncture and turning point what He is saying and doing. Things start to make sense in our life when we begin asking God for directions. Many of us like to know what’s coming so we can avoid pain or making a mistake but the beauty and miracles come when you let go.  Don’t fear.   Your Spirit is reading the map and, if you will let it, it will lead you and guide you into an amazing life and he will surprise you with His love every step of the way.  

Take a moment to ask the Holy Spirit to lead you into these divine appointments for whatever you need today.  Maybe it’s provision, maybe you need a little kiss from God, or maybe you need direction for a decision or maybe your heart is hurting and you need to be comforted?  Ask Him and then relinquish control to the Holy Spirit and do WHATEVER pops into your head!  #dontthinktoomuchaboutit #letgo #trust #Hewillanswer #somehow #someway

Big Dreams Recipe

Talking to my awesome hair dresser about a recent trip. “I just can’t explain it but I felt the presence of God so strongly while I was there.” She reminded me, “Los Angeles means City of Angels.” Oh yeah!  Duh. It made sense.  God’s presence was surreal.  LA felt like a dreamland to me.  I felt like anything was possible while I was there…like I could dream big and it would happen.

The trip started off really well. I had this super fun flight attendant as part of the crew.  We’ll call her Holly.  She was British and had a really cool accent. I loved Holly instantly and delighted in her. She is a buddhist and I’m a Jesus Lover but we really connected.  We bonded on the things we had in common:   A knowing about the spiritual realm and a love for adventure.   Holly had been back packing all over the world.  She was fearless.  I marveled at all the brave things she had done in her life.

We made plans to go to Manhattan Beach.  Holly’s husband calls her while we are “ubering” to the beach and says he’s driving through LA on his business trip to San Diego.  She sets off with him while I get to do the thing I like most to do on layovers:  Eat…oh and pray.  Pray should probably be first.  #Godsstillworkingonme ;)   I found a cool spot that served brunch where I could eat…er…i mean pray. 

I felt led to pray for my waitress, Stephanie.  I left a note for her about God working things in her favor and defending her. I felt like she might be going through a divorce or break up at the time.  and I sensed she really needed to know how loved she was.  Don’t we all just need a little hope sometime to keep going?   

I “filled my tummy up” as my nephew Gunner says and I headed towards the beach, I called my husband to check in.  “Is it dirty?” he asked. “Oh yes. It is awful…just awful.”  (He doesn’t need to know I’m enjoying all this beauty without him ;) My husband warned me before I left for my trip “Watch out for the gangs in LA.”  Yes, very wise, hubby, because they seem to be targeting white flight attendants in their polyester-wool blend suits as new recruits these days.

I felt like God’s angels were guiding me by the shoulders the entire time I was in LA.  City of Angels indeed! I would stop at a stop sign and feel the need to rest there for a moment.  I would look in each direction and then my feet would start moving unbidden.  I saw the beach and wanted to go stick my toes in sand but felt tugged in a different direction so I stayed on the sidewalk.  

I see another lady and our paths intersect.  If we had continued walking we would have collided into each other but we both stopped.  I’ll call her Diana.  I didn’t know why I chose there to stop (well, it was probably those darn angels) but I stood there trying to look normal.  I was listening, waiting, watching for what I didn’t know.  I felt like I was supposed to talk to her but didn’t know what to say.  This kid started wailing and throwing a bat - $#!+ crazy temper tantrum.  The mother barked, “Stop that whining right now or we are going home.”  She repeated herself a few times but the kid kept wailing and hitting things.  Diana and I both gave each other that knowing “mom” nod as if to say, “Been there.”   Diana started the conversation as we watched on commiserating the mom’s plight, “Stop whining or we’re going home.  That’s a good line I need to use it on my teenage daughter.”  

“It really is!  My son is about to go off to college and I found a great little gem but it was probably a little too late.” 

“What is it?”  

“When he’s disrepectful I say “You don’t get to talk to me that way.”  Stops him in his tracks for some reason.” Pretty genius.  Wish I would have come up with it.

“I’ll have to try that one,” she says as the mother yanks the kids arm and drags him down the sidewalk. 

She had a really cool accent like my flight attendant friend. “Are you from the UK?”

“Uh no.  I’m Australian.”  

“Dang, sorry.” 

We were chit chatting for a bit neither knowing why we were still standing there.  I asked her about her children.  She talked about her teenager Jasmine.  

I said, “I love that name. A flight attendant was showing me a book about flowers yesterday and we talked specifically about Jasmine.” 

She responded, “Funny thing. My much younger husband wants to have a child.  We will name her Violet, another flower name.  I’ve worked for my business for so many years and I’m going to continue but he wants to stay home if we have one.” 

“Wow, cougar” She laughed and didn’t get offended (BTW there are LOTS of cougars in Cali;)   and said she had ovarian cancer, was now healed but couldn’t have any more babies naturally.  They were considering a surrogate.   

I asked her what she did for a living.  “I have a business to help people recover from heroin.”  The name of her business reminded me of the Holy Spirit and I told her so. 

She had not mentioned Jesus or God in this conversation but what she said next was soooo cool.  “The Holy Spirit exactly.  I went away to the rainforest to be healed of ovarian cancer and the Holy Spirit downloaded a method to heal people.  My dad died of a heroin overdose when I was a child and I’ve used this method and it’s healed many and it doesn’t cost $80,000 for a rehab.”  I was freaking out excited by this time!  I love God’s ways of loving people.  We discussed how God had us both “incognito” or “stealth” in our lines of work like an undercover agent since we didn’t “advertise” our Christianity.

I said, “Well, I pray that God brings you Violet right on time and He brings all the ingredients to the recipe together to make her beautifully and wonderfully like a little bun in the oven.”  The prayer seemed prophetic.  God was pulling the ingredients for a recipe together to “make” Violet.  I believed that God would do it for her.  Just like God had given Diana His pure method or recipe to heal and cure heroin addiction, He had a recipe for her daughter.  I don’t know all the details but God does. What I do know is that God brought me to that pinpoint crossroads at that exact moment on that exact day divinely and I was obedient to agree with her. Matthew 18:19 says, “I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.”  

We exchanged numbers and have been texting back and forth.  Through our exchange, He was adding an ingredient to her recipe that she was missing and I was blessed to share it with her.

Big Dreams Recipe

2 cups of flour (or flower ;) (God’s word)

1/2 cup of sugar (love)

1/4 cup of butter (faith) 

1/4 tsp cinnamon (fearlessness)

2 eggs (hope) 

We all have big dreams in our heart and we are missing ingredients to our recipe.  I think He divinely connected me with Holly, my amazing Buddhist friend, on my trip to LA!  Yes, someone who doesn’t even believe in Him.  She shared her fearlessness with me and I readily received it! (remember, there are gangs in LA who are initiating flight attendants I might not have left my hotel room without that fearlessness;)  He connected me with the waitress Stephanie.  I think she needed a big helping of HOPE in her life and He led me to agree with Diana.  Will you share the things that you have in your heart with others today and agree with their big dreams?  In doing so, you will find that your own dreams become a reality.  Always be willing to lend your neighbor a little flour/flower or an egg in a pinch ;)  

Surf & Turf Living: Be Generous

Roll up to a cute little coffee shop in my area but instead of getting out, I sit in my car. I scroll through FB. A thought came to me: Why am I in my car wasting gas with a/c blowing full blast in this blasted desert heat when I could be enjoying the free a/c in the coffee shop? ‪#‎flightattendantsbebrokethesedays‬ Still, I just sat there not knowing why. I sent some texts, read emails then all of a sudden, I felt myself turning the car off and getting out. I see a woman who parked beside me getting out of her car and a fleeting thought, “Maybe I was waiting for her?” I kept on walking and was a little miffed to find a long line to order. Should have come in earlier instead of burning gas! I didn’t have any clear conscious thoughts from God but I kept feeling a tug to turn around and talk to her…See, sometimes we are waiting on God’s booming voice to tell us to do something but it’s very rare that I hear His voice loudly…like really rare. I can probably count them on one hand but our Spirit knows and is always leading us gently…So I’m trying to think of a way to strike up a conversation without being a “stranger danger” kind of person. 

I see her hat and it’s got her initials on it. “Cute hat,” I say. 
“Ahhh thanks but do you think the V looks like a J?” 
“Yeah, my names Jennifer so I saw J but I see now that it’s a V” So now we have a connection made but still I don’t have much to say to a stranger. Thinking….hmmm God where are you going with this? “Are you working on anything special today?” 
“I’m a professor at ____ (big college) and I needed to get out of the house to focus.”
What about you?”
“Huh?”
Distracted by her interesting outfit. I look at her. She is totally mismatched: Man’s red, yellow, black plaid winter shirt, pinkish hat, ripped jean shorts, white lace shirt? (that one threw me) you could tell it was probably a rough morning…or maybe that’s just her style but she looked frazzled. 
“What do you do?”
“Oh, me. I’m a flight attendant but I like to write so I’m working on that today.”
We talk about what I’m writing and that leads to me telling her I’m about to take my son to college. She shared she has a 5 and 7 year old. “I caught myself reminiscing on those days with my son. I know they are hard and have challenges but I miss them.” 
She looked at me and said, “I need to remember that. We’ve had a really rough week. We flew your airline. My girls were both sick with a stomach bug and lost their lunch on the plane. I honestly couldn’t wait to get out of the house to get away from it all. Thanks for the reminder that one day I will look back and cherish these days.” 
“Well, you’re welcome.” I ordered my iced green tea and said, “What are you having because I’m buying.” (see there was a reason she needed to be behind me in the line)
“Well, I was going to order a medium Chai Latte but maybe I need to make it a small.” 
“Wow, that’s probably the most expensive thing on the menu.”
I tell the barista: “Give her the lobster and filet mignon. A little surf & turf along with her medium latte.” We both giggled. 
“Thank you,” she says. 
“Consider it from your heavenly Father. He knows what you’re going through and He wanted to give you a little kiss today. It’s all going to be all right and He loves you so much.” 
“You know. I really, really needed this after the week I’ve had.” 

Three Things I learned through that interaction about divine appointments:
1. Timing is Important: He sets up divine appointments for us every day. Be sensitive to His leading today. If we are in a hurry or sleep walking through life we miss our “important to God appointments” What if I had rushed in to focus on my writing…then she wouldn’t be behind me and there would have been a misconnect or what if I was pissed about the wait then I would have been too frustrated to talk to her
2. It doesn’t have to be profound. Just say something….anything…even if it’s lame like “cute hat” to start the conversation. Our fear of rejection can keep us and others from making the connection.
3. Be generous. I’m counting my pennies right now. If I listened to my “never enough” voice I would have been too cheap to “waste” gas or to buy the $3 drink. I planted a seed in her through our connection (she drank the latte/koolaid (haha) so she received the gift from God and who knows how that will play out with her planting seeds in her students! 

I probably miss a few opportunities every day because I’m doing my thang or frustrated with situations. I know God loves me still but when I choose to follow his gentle lead, then I get to be part of the miraculous: God’s love for another. When we let His love flow through us, we experience it for ourselves. Jn 13:34 A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you MUST love one another. ‪#‎winwin‬‪#‎golovesomebodytoday‬ ‪#‎noexcuses‬ ‪#‎doitafraid‬

God's Lightning

In San Antonio at a coffee shop for the free wifi. I was trying to find  a knock off of a lightning bolt necklace I had seen in a ridiculously expensive boutique on the river walk.  I know a lightning bolt may sound pretentious but it was really dainty and awfully cute.-  The coffee shop was crowded and I happened to score a sweet spot right next to the electrical outlet.  #win

A guy comes in and kind of wanders around like a lost puppy.  I ignore him.  #mytable All the tables in the popular coffee shop are taken. He asks if he can sit in the chair across from me. At first, I was a little put out. Earbuds in.  Dude, can’t you see I’m busy and can’t be bothered right now?  Now, you might think Ernie (not his real name) was trying to flirt with me but there were no other tables and remember I OWNED the electrical outlet.  From a few sentences I could tell I clearly wasn't Ernie's type. My mustache probably is not quite thick enough for his taste and I’m missing some er equipment ;)  I think you’re picking up what I’m putting down.  I could explain but I think I will leave it at that...

The funny part about all this was I had a ball cap with a rhinestone cross on my head right before he walked in. I randomly took it off even though I have this really funny place on the back of my head called a "cowlick" (ew I hate that word) My hair sticks up like alfalfa when I don't wash it. I was on day 3 or 4 maybe of no wash (just being honest here. Don't judge) but I took the hat off and put it in my bag (that was a Holy Spirit led move)

As he sat down, I instantly knew Ernie's spirit led him to sit in that very chair. I took my earbuds out and asked God to lead.  The pleasantries were exchanged: Ernie from University of Texas at San Antonio. He was open and conversational but we were both busy on our respective computers. I had a research and a deadline ;) ha! JK but I was finding some nice knockoff necklaces.

I was having this running conversation in my head with God about Ernie. I felt like God said so many wonderful things about him - he was creative, influenced many, a linch pin that held things together. Yeah, duh, he's a teacher.  I also heard that he was an integral part of Gods plan but the last thing God said to me was "tragic end" WTH. Great, God. Go ahead and drop that bomb on me. 

Unfortunately, during the conversation in my head, I watched Ernie squint to read the Christian bumper sticker on the back of my computer. It's quite large and has a cross on it with a scripture.  I didn’t want to put it on my computer for the same reason I don’t put a fish on my car.  When I drive poorly or shake my fist at another driver, it would not be a WWJD moment but I felt led to put the scripture on because it was symbolic of God’s protection and many people have come to talk to ME because it is a beacon of hope for them.  Well, it was not a beacon of hope for Ernie.  As he read it, his face turned from relaxed and open to a full out grimace.  He looked like I had laid a turd on the table between us.  His horror was that obvious. Ernie shut down as quickly as my son does when I ask him what he's feeling inside ;)  He fiddled and looked quickly around as if to say "get me out of here" she's going to try to sell me on some multilevel marketing scheme or she's probably got magic underwear, a tie and a name tag that says Elder Jennifer in her Vera Bradley backpack.  Meanwhile, I hadn't even mentioned Jesus. I tried to keep my hands in the open where he could see them...I didn't have a nifty brochure with 10 Things you need to stop doing for Jesus to love you.  I hadn't even mentioned Jesus in fact.

He looked relieved when he saw a table open up. He quickly grabbed his things calling “thank you” over his shoulder.  I seriously don't think he could get away fast enough. 

I wrapped up my important business... $395 necklace at trendy boutique? I don't think so. I found one more in my price range. I left the knock off necklace in my cart without clicking "buy now." I was pretty proud of myself for being able to just walk away #selfcontrol

I was headed to an art museum a few blocks away. I stopped outside the coffee shop and I prayed for Ernie. Ugh I hated hearing "tragic end" and leaving things undone...but that door was VERY clearly closed. Barred in fact by Ernie. 

While I was praying, I caught sight of Ernie crossing the street.  I wanted to go after him but I didn't feel led to. #stalker I asked God to finish the work He started.  I walked the opposite direction towards the art museum a little sad about the “tragic end” thing but I asked God to send help. 

When I was walking back to my hotel later I couldn't believe it- there was Ernie again. He was hard to miss in his hot pink shirt and blue jean cut off Daisy Dukes (they weren’t that short) What are the odds?  I wasn’t by the coffee shop.  I'm willing to look foolish when God gives me a confirmation like that! I called out hello to him as he came towards me and he said hello briskly.  He was power walking.  His plan was pretty clear to steer clear of the crazy Christian bumper sticker girl with the now blinged out cross on her head covering her cowlick.

I knew God had designed the first meeting as well as this one and Ernie had shown up so that said something! I said, "Hey, sometimes God has me run into someone and it's a divine appointment because he wants me to deliver a message. Do you want me to ask and see what he has to say?" 

He said "Oh I think it was all just a coincidence. I was just waiting for an open table and now I'm out taking a walk." 

So basically NO Ernie wasn't interested in hearing what I had to say. I think he was probably a little scared that I was going to shank him with a cross or bonk him on the head and pull a Kathy Bates on him until he accepted Jesus. 

I'm not deterred easily when I feel Gods urges and if Gods angels went through this much trouble to get us here at this moment AGAIN then I was going to do my part ... So I said "Then can I give you a hug?"

 He said reluctantly, "Well OK." Poor guy.

I know that encounter did not have the outcome that was the highest and best. Ha! To say the least. I looked like a crazy Christian stalker but I don't believe in coincidences. I shared this interaction with my friend, Ryane.  She said Plan A was Ernie opening his heart to be touched at our shared table.  Plan B was for him to receive what God had to say which Ernie politely declined.  Plan C was the hug. I believe in God moments and being obedient to do what He says when He says. I know part of my mission is to find God's lost sheep- His children. I feel like those that have gone on to heaven before us are a great cloud of witnesses watching over us, praying for us, interceding for us-for their future generations. I felt specifically Ernie's grandfather had prayed for us to have this conversation...But I think Ernie's offense and fear of Christians put up a wall… that's why we have to be so careful to only say what God tells us to say!  The Spirit within Ernie was willing. It delivered him to my table and it actually delivered him to meet me again on the river walk but Ernie, or maybe his fear, would not open the door to his heart: God was knocking through me. God is greater and stronger than fear but he will not override our free will.  He's so gentle... but He is also persistent. 

This interaction has haunted me a little. I felt the gravity of Ernie's life (tragic end) and how he will feel when he leaves it on this earth as we all will... His choice to refuse to open the door to his heart but that is FEARFUL thinking... I realize that his receiving a hug actually might have been Ernie looking through the peephole and considering unlocking the door to God. God will send someone else after me to call out gently until Ernie is ready and knows it's safe to open the door...  I pray that someday Ernie will let him in. I would do everything in my power to have a relationship with my children.  God will continue to knock until He can’t knock anymore.  His love is unstoppable.

Luke 10:18 And He said to them, "I was watching Satan fall from heaven like lightning.

Warm Pits, Cold Heart

Warm Pits, Cold Heart

The evening before had been rough.  A hot airplane, 3 hour delay, 186 fussy passengers.  One lady actually said, “You flight attendants are the most inattentive and unhelpful people I have ever met!” OH NO SHE DIDN’T *fingersnap* not this particular lady… I’m sorry.  Was I unhelpful when I put your 3 year old on the toilet as you asked…or was I inattentive when I brought your family the  the 5 glasses of water and a cup of ice during our delay?  UGHH!   I would like to have punched her but then I wouldn’t have a job. Entitled people are a real “hot” button for me and I was already overheated! #servantlife  #norespect  

Anyway, the next morning, after 6 hours of sleep (I need 8-10 hours to be perky, people), I walked on to the airplane and the A/C was still malfunctioning. (#boobsweat) GROWL! Don’t sweat the small stuff “they” say but it’s hard not to sweat in a 100 degree metal tube. I felt like I had a hangover.  No, I hadn’t snuck any liquor mini’s back to my hotel room to drink the pain away like I wanted to.  I was in recovery mode from a yucky day still feeling the after effects.  Was it going to be another bad day?  I looked longingly at the minis (JK I don't even drink but it's fun to talk about) When things in life aren’t going “my way” I have to purposely calm my little butt down and ask God to help me think “His way.”  I put my worship music on and dramatically asked God to “Lord, just give me the strength.” 

Two flight attendants came back to the galley “We’re on the jumpseat!” They were happy to get on the airplane.  I always appreciate when I sit on the jumpseat and the flight attendants are nice to me but it gets pretty tight.   Five people in an airplane galley is a clown car and I was already hot and annoyed.  I know so far this has been a little bit of a bi*@#-fest but I do have a point (and also I get to vent so win-win)  

We began our service and I did my best to serve everyone with a smile (probably looked more like a grimace)  It may have been hot on the airplane but my heart was feeling cold and detached.  I sat down with a hmph!  I tried to “encourage myself in the Lord” with these small victories ;) I was awake now, I didn’t punch anyone, and (I sniffed) my deodorant seemed to be holding up.  

I noticed one of the young flight attendant’s (jumpseater) was reading a book that I recognized about faith.  We started chatting and talking about loving Jesus, her fairly recent encounter with the God of the universe.  Our talk really brightened my day. Yay! Every time I looked at Sarah (not her real name), my eyes welled up with tears.  I love when that happens. He lets me feel what He feels for that person and He was in LOVE with Sarah.  I had this overwhelming sense of His pride as she talked about the things she had walked away from because it wouldn’t bring her closer to God.  Specifically she let go of any guys where she would be “missionary dating” (trying to lead them to Christ)  She made the following declaration and it was so powerful to me:  I told God I don’t want anything or anyone in my life that will come between me and Him.  This girl was ALL IN.  #onfirefortheLord

I asked her if there was anything I could pray for her about. She said she didn’t worry about a lot of things anymore but she worried about her family and wanted them to know God.  She felt some separation from her family because of her conversion.  They didn’t believe and they probably thought she had lost her mind.  She didn’t know the scriptures to answer the questions of unbelievers. 

I shared with her when I first became a Christian, I scoured the scriptures and I tried to learn them well.  The bibles says “…Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have…”(1Pet.3:15) That scripture scared the Bejeezus out of me.  Could I out-argue a scientist?  How could I explain the indescribable God of the universe  and someone understand it?  I no longer feel that pressure at all.  God is capable of explaining Himself through the Holy Spirit, signs and wonders too.  

Sarah talked about how challenging it is to explain being “born again.”  Everyone noticed how different she was but it was hard to put into words WHY she was different.  I recently read a scripture regarding that problem:  “Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God. "What do you mean?" exclaimed Nicodemus. "How can an old man go back into his mother's womb and be born again?” (Jn3:4-5) Kind of confusing to explain the miracle of being given a new heart.

Trying to convince someone through reasoning with facts or even scriptures when they don’t believe or care what the bible says is like trying to use your fist and punch through a brick wall (like I wanted to do to that snarky ladies teeth;)   We can’t reason with someone’s mind if they already have it made up.  No, the only way to “get to them” is to ask the Holy Spirit to touch their heart…His love WILL crumble all their walls…If they will let me simply pray for them then HE WILL reveal Himself to them through THEIR agreement of prayer...or if I can give them a sneak hug (they have to agree to it; See the following blog: http://jenniferlovesgod.blogspot.com/2015/07/sneak-hugs.html  I don’t have to have all the answers. It really takes the pressure off and it unleashes the love of God in their life.  I don’t get to take credit because it isn’t through lofty words or persuasive speeches but through the power of the Holy Spirit. (1Cor.2:1-5)

Sarah probably thinks that God sent me to her but she doesn’t know that God sent her to me on a day where I was really struggling and didn’t have a smidgeon of love within me for the people around me.  I felt really shut down inside.  He sent help through Sarah to fan the flame in my heart.   She  encouraged me with her faith and new love and devotion to Him.  God reminded me through my new friend that a hard day does go away.  His mercies are new every day.   Thank you, God, and thank you, “Sarah”

The Father’s Heart

The Father looked out the cabin window pensively.  As the snow flakes changed from a lazy float to a furious flurry, his chair inched closer and closer to the window. The sun’s rays of light were gobbled up by the storm’s clouds. Where was he?  

“Dad, will you come tuck me in?”  

“Give me a second and I’ll be there.”

The Father shivered and pulled his coat tighter as he stepped out of the warmth of the fire and into the brutal cold of the frigid temperatures.  His eyes scanning the rough terrain of the mountain.  He could be anywhere.  His throat closed as his heart filled with icy pain. His tears flowed freely and he made no move to wipe the chilly rivers from his cheeks.  He heard a howl, or was it a moan, on the wind.  He held tightly to the log column of the porch.  I’m going to be sick.  He closed his eyes to calm his emotions.  When I open them, he will be here standing in front of me safe and sound but his hope was sucked into the swirling snow and replaced with a sense of deep dread as he watched as the last glimmers of light gave way to deep darkness.  He turned and ducked back into the cabin.  He closed the door quickly now certain of what he must do. The Father announced, “I must go!”

The young boy shuffled carefully in his house shoes and then held fast to his Father’s legs.  “Don’t go!  You said you would tuck me in and I’m scared! It’s dark and there’s bears and wolves that might come get me! Please, please stay with me.”  

“No, son, you are safe.  You have the fire to warm you.  The cabin is safe but your brother…”  He swallowed quickly as his voice broke. “I have to find him.  I will be back.”

The young boy pleaded “But he always runs off and he never listens to you.  It’s his own fault. I always stay right by your side. I would never run away, Father.  Please don’t leave me here alone.  He’s fine.  He’s probably warming himself in a cave by a fire.”

The Father led him back to the small bed in the corner, leaned in and kissed his cheek.  “Let us hope what you say is true. I love you.” Ignoring the pleas and cries of his beloved son in the cabin, he went into the cold and utter darkness.  Dead or alive, the Father would not return until he found his lost son. 

Luke 15:4-7 “Suppose one of you had a hundred sheep and lost one. Wouldn’t you leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the lost one until you found it? When found, you can be sure you would put it across your shoulders, rejoicing, and when you got home call in your friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Celebrate with me! I’ve found my lost sheep!’ Count on it—there’s more joy in heaven over one sinner’s rescued life than over ninety-nine good people in no need of rescue.