God's Lightning

In San Antonio at a coffee shop for the free wifi. I was trying to find  a knock off of a lightning bolt necklace I had seen in a ridiculously expensive boutique on the river walk.  I know a lightning bolt may sound pretentious but it was really dainty and awfully cute.-  The coffee shop was crowded and I happened to score a sweet spot right next to the electrical outlet.  #win

A guy comes in and kind of wanders around like a lost puppy.  I ignore him.  #mytable All the tables in the popular coffee shop are taken. He asks if he can sit in the chair across from me. At first, I was a little put out. Earbuds in.  Dude, can’t you see I’m busy and can’t be bothered right now?  Now, you might think Ernie (not his real name) was trying to flirt with me but there were no other tables and remember I OWNED the electrical outlet.  From a few sentences I could tell I clearly wasn't Ernie's type. My mustache probably is not quite thick enough for his taste and I’m missing some er equipment ;)  I think you’re picking up what I’m putting down.  I could explain but I think I will leave it at that...

The funny part about all this was I had a ball cap with a rhinestone cross on my head right before he walked in. I randomly took it off even though I have this really funny place on the back of my head called a "cowlick" (ew I hate that word) My hair sticks up like alfalfa when I don't wash it. I was on day 3 or 4 maybe of no wash (just being honest here. Don't judge) but I took the hat off and put it in my bag (that was a Holy Spirit led move)

As he sat down, I instantly knew Ernie's spirit led him to sit in that very chair. I took my earbuds out and asked God to lead.  The pleasantries were exchanged: Ernie from University of Texas at San Antonio. He was open and conversational but we were both busy on our respective computers. I had a research and a deadline ;) ha! JK but I was finding some nice knockoff necklaces.

I was having this running conversation in my head with God about Ernie. I felt like God said so many wonderful things about him - he was creative, influenced many, a linch pin that held things together. Yeah, duh, he's a teacher.  I also heard that he was an integral part of Gods plan but the last thing God said to me was "tragic end" WTH. Great, God. Go ahead and drop that bomb on me. 

Unfortunately, during the conversation in my head, I watched Ernie squint to read the Christian bumper sticker on the back of my computer. It's quite large and has a cross on it with a scripture.  I didn’t want to put it on my computer for the same reason I don’t put a fish on my car.  When I drive poorly or shake my fist at another driver, it would not be a WWJD moment but I felt led to put the scripture on because it was symbolic of God’s protection and many people have come to talk to ME because it is a beacon of hope for them.  Well, it was not a beacon of hope for Ernie.  As he read it, his face turned from relaxed and open to a full out grimace.  He looked like I had laid a turd on the table between us.  His horror was that obvious. Ernie shut down as quickly as my son does when I ask him what he's feeling inside ;)  He fiddled and looked quickly around as if to say "get me out of here" she's going to try to sell me on some multilevel marketing scheme or she's probably got magic underwear, a tie and a name tag that says Elder Jennifer in her Vera Bradley backpack.  Meanwhile, I hadn't even mentioned Jesus. I tried to keep my hands in the open where he could see them...I didn't have a nifty brochure with 10 Things you need to stop doing for Jesus to love you.  I hadn't even mentioned Jesus in fact.

He looked relieved when he saw a table open up. He quickly grabbed his things calling “thank you” over his shoulder.  I seriously don't think he could get away fast enough. 

I wrapped up my important business... $395 necklace at trendy boutique? I don't think so. I found one more in my price range. I left the knock off necklace in my cart without clicking "buy now." I was pretty proud of myself for being able to just walk away #selfcontrol

I was headed to an art museum a few blocks away. I stopped outside the coffee shop and I prayed for Ernie. Ugh I hated hearing "tragic end" and leaving things undone...but that door was VERY clearly closed. Barred in fact by Ernie. 

While I was praying, I caught sight of Ernie crossing the street.  I wanted to go after him but I didn't feel led to. #stalker I asked God to finish the work He started.  I walked the opposite direction towards the art museum a little sad about the “tragic end” thing but I asked God to send help. 

When I was walking back to my hotel later I couldn't believe it- there was Ernie again. He was hard to miss in his hot pink shirt and blue jean cut off Daisy Dukes (they weren’t that short) What are the odds?  I wasn’t by the coffee shop.  I'm willing to look foolish when God gives me a confirmation like that! I called out hello to him as he came towards me and he said hello briskly.  He was power walking.  His plan was pretty clear to steer clear of the crazy Christian bumper sticker girl with the now blinged out cross on her head covering her cowlick.

I knew God had designed the first meeting as well as this one and Ernie had shown up so that said something! I said, "Hey, sometimes God has me run into someone and it's a divine appointment because he wants me to deliver a message. Do you want me to ask and see what he has to say?" 

He said "Oh I think it was all just a coincidence. I was just waiting for an open table and now I'm out taking a walk." 

So basically NO Ernie wasn't interested in hearing what I had to say. I think he was probably a little scared that I was going to shank him with a cross or bonk him on the head and pull a Kathy Bates on him until he accepted Jesus. 

I'm not deterred easily when I feel Gods urges and if Gods angels went through this much trouble to get us here at this moment AGAIN then I was going to do my part ... So I said "Then can I give you a hug?"

 He said reluctantly, "Well OK." Poor guy.

I know that encounter did not have the outcome that was the highest and best. Ha! To say the least. I looked like a crazy Christian stalker but I don't believe in coincidences. I shared this interaction with my friend, Ryane.  She said Plan A was Ernie opening his heart to be touched at our shared table.  Plan B was for him to receive what God had to say which Ernie politely declined.  Plan C was the hug. I believe in God moments and being obedient to do what He says when He says. I know part of my mission is to find God's lost sheep- His children. I feel like those that have gone on to heaven before us are a great cloud of witnesses watching over us, praying for us, interceding for us-for their future generations. I felt specifically Ernie's grandfather had prayed for us to have this conversation...But I think Ernie's offense and fear of Christians put up a wall… that's why we have to be so careful to only say what God tells us to say!  The Spirit within Ernie was willing. It delivered him to my table and it actually delivered him to meet me again on the river walk but Ernie, or maybe his fear, would not open the door to his heart: God was knocking through me. God is greater and stronger than fear but he will not override our free will.  He's so gentle... but He is also persistent. 

This interaction has haunted me a little. I felt the gravity of Ernie's life (tragic end) and how he will feel when he leaves it on this earth as we all will... His choice to refuse to open the door to his heart but that is FEARFUL thinking... I realize that his receiving a hug actually might have been Ernie looking through the peephole and considering unlocking the door to God. God will send someone else after me to call out gently until Ernie is ready and knows it's safe to open the door...  I pray that someday Ernie will let him in. I would do everything in my power to have a relationship with my children.  God will continue to knock until He can’t knock anymore.  His love is unstoppable.

Luke 10:18 And He said to them, "I was watching Satan fall from heaven like lightning.

Warm Pits, Cold Heart

Warm Pits, Cold Heart

The evening before had been rough.  A hot airplane, 3 hour delay, 186 fussy passengers.  One lady actually said, “You flight attendants are the most inattentive and unhelpful people I have ever met!” OH NO SHE DIDN’T *fingersnap* not this particular lady… I’m sorry.  Was I unhelpful when I put your 3 year old on the toilet as you asked…or was I inattentive when I brought your family the  the 5 glasses of water and a cup of ice during our delay?  UGHH!   I would like to have punched her but then I wouldn’t have a job. Entitled people are a real “hot” button for me and I was already overheated! #servantlife  #norespect  

Anyway, the next morning, after 6 hours of sleep (I need 8-10 hours to be perky, people), I walked on to the airplane and the A/C was still malfunctioning. (#boobsweat) GROWL! Don’t sweat the small stuff “they” say but it’s hard not to sweat in a 100 degree metal tube. I felt like I had a hangover.  No, I hadn’t snuck any liquor mini’s back to my hotel room to drink the pain away like I wanted to.  I was in recovery mode from a yucky day still feeling the after effects.  Was it going to be another bad day?  I looked longingly at the minis (JK I don't even drink but it's fun to talk about) When things in life aren’t going “my way” I have to purposely calm my little butt down and ask God to help me think “His way.”  I put my worship music on and dramatically asked God to “Lord, just give me the strength.” 

Two flight attendants came back to the galley “We’re on the jumpseat!” They were happy to get on the airplane.  I always appreciate when I sit on the jumpseat and the flight attendants are nice to me but it gets pretty tight.   Five people in an airplane galley is a clown car and I was already hot and annoyed.  I know so far this has been a little bit of a bi*@#-fest but I do have a point (and also I get to vent so win-win)  

We began our service and I did my best to serve everyone with a smile (probably looked more like a grimace)  It may have been hot on the airplane but my heart was feeling cold and detached.  I sat down with a hmph!  I tried to “encourage myself in the Lord” with these small victories ;) I was awake now, I didn’t punch anyone, and (I sniffed) my deodorant seemed to be holding up.  

I noticed one of the young flight attendant’s (jumpseater) was reading a book that I recognized about faith.  We started chatting and talking about loving Jesus, her fairly recent encounter with the God of the universe.  Our talk really brightened my day. Yay! Every time I looked at Sarah (not her real name), my eyes welled up with tears.  I love when that happens. He lets me feel what He feels for that person and He was in LOVE with Sarah.  I had this overwhelming sense of His pride as she talked about the things she had walked away from because it wouldn’t bring her closer to God.  Specifically she let go of any guys where she would be “missionary dating” (trying to lead them to Christ)  She made the following declaration and it was so powerful to me:  I told God I don’t want anything or anyone in my life that will come between me and Him.  This girl was ALL IN.  #onfirefortheLord

I asked her if there was anything I could pray for her about. She said she didn’t worry about a lot of things anymore but she worried about her family and wanted them to know God.  She felt some separation from her family because of her conversion.  They didn’t believe and they probably thought she had lost her mind.  She didn’t know the scriptures to answer the questions of unbelievers. 

I shared with her when I first became a Christian, I scoured the scriptures and I tried to learn them well.  The bibles says “…Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have…”(1Pet.3:15) That scripture scared the Bejeezus out of me.  Could I out-argue a scientist?  How could I explain the indescribable God of the universe  and someone understand it?  I no longer feel that pressure at all.  God is capable of explaining Himself through the Holy Spirit, signs and wonders too.  

Sarah talked about how challenging it is to explain being “born again.”  Everyone noticed how different she was but it was hard to put into words WHY she was different.  I recently read a scripture regarding that problem:  “Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God. "What do you mean?" exclaimed Nicodemus. "How can an old man go back into his mother's womb and be born again?” (Jn3:4-5) Kind of confusing to explain the miracle of being given a new heart.

Trying to convince someone through reasoning with facts or even scriptures when they don’t believe or care what the bible says is like trying to use your fist and punch through a brick wall (like I wanted to do to that snarky ladies teeth;)   We can’t reason with someone’s mind if they already have it made up.  No, the only way to “get to them” is to ask the Holy Spirit to touch their heart…His love WILL crumble all their walls…If they will let me simply pray for them then HE WILL reveal Himself to them through THEIR agreement of prayer...or if I can give them a sneak hug (they have to agree to it; See the following blog: http://jenniferlovesgod.blogspot.com/2015/07/sneak-hugs.html  I don’t have to have all the answers. It really takes the pressure off and it unleashes the love of God in their life.  I don’t get to take credit because it isn’t through lofty words or persuasive speeches but through the power of the Holy Spirit. (1Cor.2:1-5)

Sarah probably thinks that God sent me to her but she doesn’t know that God sent her to me on a day where I was really struggling and didn’t have a smidgeon of love within me for the people around me.  I felt really shut down inside.  He sent help through Sarah to fan the flame in my heart.   She  encouraged me with her faith and new love and devotion to Him.  God reminded me through my new friend that a hard day does go away.  His mercies are new every day.   Thank you, God, and thank you, “Sarah”

The Father’s Heart

The Father looked out the cabin window pensively.  As the snow flakes changed from a lazy float to a furious flurry, his chair inched closer and closer to the window. The sun’s rays of light were gobbled up by the storm’s clouds. Where was he?  

“Dad, will you come tuck me in?”  

“Give me a second and I’ll be there.”

The Father shivered and pulled his coat tighter as he stepped out of the warmth of the fire and into the brutal cold of the frigid temperatures.  His eyes scanning the rough terrain of the mountain.  He could be anywhere.  His throat closed as his heart filled with icy pain. His tears flowed freely and he made no move to wipe the chilly rivers from his cheeks.  He heard a howl, or was it a moan, on the wind.  He held tightly to the log column of the porch.  I’m going to be sick.  He closed his eyes to calm his emotions.  When I open them, he will be here standing in front of me safe and sound but his hope was sucked into the swirling snow and replaced with a sense of deep dread as he watched as the last glimmers of light gave way to deep darkness.  He turned and ducked back into the cabin.  He closed the door quickly now certain of what he must do. The Father announced, “I must go!”

The young boy shuffled carefully in his house shoes and then held fast to his Father’s legs.  “Don’t go!  You said you would tuck me in and I’m scared! It’s dark and there’s bears and wolves that might come get me! Please, please stay with me.”  

“No, son, you are safe.  You have the fire to warm you.  The cabin is safe but your brother…”  He swallowed quickly as his voice broke. “I have to find him.  I will be back.”

The young boy pleaded “But he always runs off and he never listens to you.  It’s his own fault. I always stay right by your side. I would never run away, Father.  Please don’t leave me here alone.  He’s fine.  He’s probably warming himself in a cave by a fire.”

The Father led him back to the small bed in the corner, leaned in and kissed his cheek.  “Let us hope what you say is true. I love you.” Ignoring the pleas and cries of his beloved son in the cabin, he went into the cold and utter darkness.  Dead or alive, the Father would not return until he found his lost son. 

Luke 15:4-7 “Suppose one of you had a hundred sheep and lost one. Wouldn’t you leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the lost one until you found it? When found, you can be sure you would put it across your shoulders, rejoicing, and when you got home call in your friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Celebrate with me! I’ve found my lost sheep!’ Count on it—there’s more joy in heaven over one sinner’s rescued life than over ninety-nine good people in no need of rescue.

Sneak Hugs

My youngest son Tanner would go around and  attack his brother with a hug in embarrassing places.  He would exclaim "SNEAK HUG!"  while doing it.  At panera and this guy has sneezed at least 20 times. I'm like a parrot over here. 'Bless you....bless you...bless you." Is the initial bless you enough? ‪#‎thisguymustneedsomeblessings‬' ‪#‎dontweall‬  I've noticed that people will sneeze around me when God wants to "sneak bless" them :)

Seriously though... I've seen a lot of fruit when someone simply does not believe in God, does not want prayer, I ask them if I can give them a hug...A transfer happens.  When they open their arms, they are opening their heart.  Sneak hugs are like magic.  Give someone a sneak hug today!

God Knows...

There is a hurting world out there waiting for a touch from the father. I was at costa vida just now and I felt impressed to give a lady a card that I had made. The card was all about hope, beauty for ashes, God being the lifter of her head, etc. When I gave it to her, she immediately burst into tears and said do you know this is the scripture that God gave me this morning? Do you know what I'm going through? I shook my head no but God knew. She hugged me and cried and I cried too. I have no idea what she's going through and I really don't need to know. Got delivered a message that will carry her through this. Be looking for ways to touch the broken hearted today. It may be a neighbor, waitress or gas station clerk. How many times do we pass people by that need good news? He will put people in your path if you ask.

Can I borrow $1

Testimony from yesterday: a lady tapped on my window in the parking lot at nrh campus before Lifegroup. She asked if I could spare $1... Said she needed it for her grandson? I was a little surprised but I had $1 so I gave it to her. I went inside church to buy an iced tea and the clerk at the church said that it would be $1 but someone had already paid for it :) I left my $1 for the next person. With the testimony and prayers of $ multiplying, God was already moving and doing it quickly. How cool is that? It reminds me that when we give, it will be given to us. ‪#‎godsgenerosity‬ ‪#‎multiplication‬

Hugs Work

Hugs work.

In corner bakery this morning and there was a lady crying. I stayed at my table and prayed for her to feel peace and comfort. Her husband and another man at the table were trying to talk to her...to console her but she kept crying. They got up to leave and I sat there wondering how to show her love or even if I should. I felt myself getting up (without a plan) and caught up to her. I said "Can I give you a hug?" She cried a little harder but we hugged for a bit. She said, "thank you and God bless you." I said "I'm so sorry you are hurting and I prayed that God would comfort you." But then I realize He already had.
Hugs work.

‪#‎loveisaction‬ ‪#‎Hispowerinus‬‪#‎dontthinkwhenitcomestolove‬ ‪#‎justdo‬‪#‎hugsarehearttoheartconnections‬