Eat Your Peas

“Does God trick us?”, my daughter asked.  She had been invited to participate in two 5k walk/runs over the last few months.  She decided to volunteer at the first one which was a walk that benefitted human trafficking victims.  She wanted to be a part of what God was doing to rescue the women, however, she despised excessive physical activity especially in the Texas heat.  She was unaware that her volunteer duty would be to drag the wagon to the half way mark of the course and when the race was over, drag it the remainder of the course back which would equal….you guessed it: a full 3.1 miles also known as a 5K.  She had, inadvertently, participated in the race. The second walk was for people with spinal cord injuries.  She signed up to walk the mile only portion of the course but due to bad signage travelled the entire 3.1 miles of the course….again.  

She had considered and prayed about entering both races but felt that she had been duped into walking the entire course for TWO 5K walks against her will.  She did not agree to that level of activity…especially when it involved sweating  outdoors.

Hence her question:  Does God trick us?

As I asked God for help to answer her, I remembered an evening earlier in the summer.  My three year old nephew, Gunner, had come over for a visit.  I fed him the squeezable type of apple sauce that were similar to juice pouches.  He gasped quickly for air between deep inhales of  apple sauce.  I didn’t want him to get a tummy ache so I had to cut him off after 3.

The following week, I saw a facebook post from my sister.  The post was a picture of sweet little Gunner sucking down broccoli, pears and peas all in one squeezable pouch.  He was not a fan of the green vegetable variety normally.  On a plate, broccoli, peas or spinach might be sniffed or moved around but would remain untouched.  She had lovingly distracted him by packaging them in something that he had pleasant thoughts about-delicious and sweet apple sauce.  The veggies were spiked with a little pear so he inhaled the organic greens filled pouch with as much gusto as he had the apple sauce.   Did she trick him or did she wisely give him something that he needed to grow? 

My answer to Monica:  Trick or treat?  Neither.  God doesn't play games with our heart or trick us.  Our Spirit knows what we need to grow and to fulfill our destiny. God is a God of free will choice so he would not force us to do anything.  Sometimes our spirit, knowing our true heart’s desires and our destiny, will get us into situations that propel us forward, away from our fears, and into an adventure that we are completely dependent on God to carry us through.  Monica was quite literally “walking” in victory as she completed those two 3.1 mile courses.  He gives us our sweet apple sauce but sometimes He mixes it in with some peas.

After the second walk, Monica said, “You know that really wasn’t that hard.”  She had an overcoming attitude instead of being overwhelmed by the challenge.  I’m so proud of my sweet daughter.  She is growing stronger by the moment.  Spiritual peas are sometimes hard to swallow but they give us strength for the victory.

Pretend Prayers

“Let me know if you need prayer,” I would say.

Being on the prayer train & chain was where every  Christian should be, right? CHOO CHOO! Emails, text messages, the Celebrate Recovery program that I was in attracted and issued a lot of prayer requests. “Will you pray for my neighbor’s cat?” someone asked.

“Of  course, I will pray,” I would say again…and again…and again.  Oh I intended to. I wanted to but there were things holding me back.  

Top 5 reasons I didn’t pray for people as promised:

5. I didn’t possess the integrity and character it took to follow through with a promise.

4. I was a people pleaser and people love when you say you will pray for them.

3. Being a single mom, I spent most of my time working and taking care of my children. 

2. God was going to do what He wanted anyway.  

But the number 1 reason I didn’t pray:

1. I was scared to be alone with God.

I would try to sit still but it was like ants were in my pants.  I would suddenly remember the laundry mildewing in the washer or that I could email the person requesting prayers to let them know that I was, in fact, praying for them.   The truth was that my inner life was barren.  I worked really hard at making things look good on the outside by saying and doing the “right” things but I had no true intimacy with God.

My performance oriented thinking said that I had to bring something to the table in order  to have my requests heard.  I didn’t feel like anything that I brought was “enough.” I couldn’t pray long enough, hard enough, or have the right words to convince God to hear me.  I felt that I wasn’t worthy to be heard by such a BIG God.  The grace required to come boldly to Him was something that I did not know how to receive.

Now, I recognize that I can only receive His grace by coming naked and without merit.  It’s His grace that brings me into His presence.  Now, I talk to Him like a friend.  It's an honor to pray for those that He loves.  I know that I don’t have to have special words or do it the “right way.”  I can ask my Dad for what I need and entrust my request to Him. I have myself to offer Him-no good deeds, trophies, or being perfect will allow me to see Him face to face. Your struggle may be different.  You may  be challenged when it comes to tithing, trusting, or reading the bible but His grace is sufficient for your situation.  His grace holds us together.

Colossians 1:17 He himself existed before anything else did, and he holds all things together.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (msg ver) My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

Controlling Momma

My son and I were on our way to get his driving permit.  On our drive, we were talking about what our core values were in life and in relationships.  Of course, I brought this subject up. His dad wasn’t always around since we divorced when he was a baby.  He said that one of his core values was to be a good dad. We talked about being faithful, gentle, kind, loving, etc. I said that honesty was of the utmost importance to me.  I could handle anything, but do not lie.  I explained that God had rearranged and reprioritized my thinking on that though.  Number one was no longer truth or honesty, it was now love. I would destroy people with MY truth. Honesty without love is destructive... Jesus was the bridge to cross and reach God, not a bridge burner... Now I blow the enemy up with Gods love instead of forcing my truth down someone’s throat. I value truth, but I had to love God and then love my neighbor as myself first.  People can handle truth if they know they are loved first, and that takes time. 


Tanner responded to this conversation that sometimes it was best not to be honest, if it would hurt someone’s feelings. His example was: if someone was overweight and they asked you, you shouldn’t tell them the truth.  

As Tanner went up to get his picture made for his driver’s license picture, he asked me not to look because it made him laugh and he said he wasn’t going to smile. 

I said, “Please smile, Tanner. I will not look if you will smile.” 

He answered back, “Okay.”

My saying that I would not look if he would smile was manipulation.  As the lady handed him his temporary permit, I got a glimpse of a very grim and tough Tanner.  I asked him why he didn’t smile.  His answer: “I told you that I didn’t want to, and it is my permit.” 

If people feel like they need to lie, it might be because we are trying to control them.  They don’t feel that they can be honest with you.   

Now, there is the subject of authority, and it is not okay to be dishonest.  Was Tanner rebellious since I am his mother for not obeying me and smiling?  I love Watchman Nee.  He was imprisoned in a communist country.  He writes that you can have absolute honor for abusive, controlling or unjust authority, but only relative obedience.

Jesus died to set us free, but I want everyone to do what I want so I can feel safe and not be afraid.  Love is letting someone be who God created them to be through encouragement, financial support, and love or however the Holy Spirit leads us to! This is not fear-based control, manipulation, and then accusing those we are in authority over of being rebellious.  I can hear the “buts” from myself as I write.  The only BUT God gave me was that I was to trust my son without fear, let Tanner be who God created him to be and God will take care of  the outcome.  I am a steward of God's creation not a controller.

1 John 4:17-18 Message Version “God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ's. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.”

Let’s be fully formed in His love and let Him have the run of our house.