Monday, August 14, 2017

Hey, That’s My Spot

I was doing the waltz around Sephora in Southlake town sq. on the drag. Parking, the premium kind, being open and available, is rare. You have to hunt for it. Stalk innocent shopping bystanders. Your timing must be perfect. I’m sure you’ve done it before. Done the loop de loop… unless you're my husband or son. They try to find the furthest one away. Get yer exercise for the day. Good for them but I don’t like that. Texas summers are winning the war against my ooh la la lavender deodorant.
One time I was trolling for parking spots in front of Brio and everyone kept staring. I didn’t have a cool car but I thought maybe I looked cute or something that day. A lady even gave me a big smile and slight wave... and then my daughter, who I had dropped off, told me there was a long piece of hot pink tulle hanging out my back door flowing in the wind like a long tail as I drove.
BUT THAT’s ANOTHER story. 
The day before my Sephora parking spot hunt, I’d been at the airport. I drove in to terminal C. I let someone go in front of me like any good Christian would ðŸ˜‰ but then immediately regretted it. She got a primo spot…and what turned out to be the ONLY spot under roof in that entire terminal. After she “took my spot,” I prayed. I had arrived early so that gave me some time. I finally found one on the roof where my car would sit over night and bake until the next morning. I paid the same $24/day as the other lady but now, there’s no elevator on the roof, so I had to lug my purse, lunchbox and suitcase down 2 flights of stairs. What could I learn from this situation? What would be the logical lesson?
-Don’t let anyone in front of you because they will steal your spot.
-You always have to be the one to take the leftovers?
-Others are more important? 
I’ve acted like this my whole life. Hurry up and get in line. Do call ahead seating. Make an offer on the house quick before someone else does. Or when someone else gets to it first-they probably lived their life perfect so God is blessing them. A lot of that is a gift of mine: Strategy & Learner. Get to the designated spot as quickly as possible without hiccups and learn the lesson. 
Lest you get judgey at me for my “selfish ambition,” I think we all have our areas: 
-We want to get married or have a baby-others are and we aren’t and we can’t help but wonder WHY?! 
-Someone else got the job or opportunity we wanted while we were passed over.
-Someone treats us as less than because of X, Y, Z (being a female, our skin color, etc)
-Our idea was shot down
-someone steals yo man
-friend or significant other forgets about us and moves on
-our idea isn’t recognized as “the best” one
-Our life is not going as planned in some way or it takes us longer to get to our spot
Our hearts are trampled. Our emotions out of control about these slights and missed love & opportunities.
But I've felt differently over the last year or so. I've learned to trust God’s timing for things (mainly because when I do it my way it turns to caca). I've been feeling more at home and comfortable in His love mostly because others weren’t giving it. As a result, I’m more confident, flexible and moldable by His desires wanting only to be in step with Him. Wanting what He has planned for my life not what I planned. I delighted to see others get what their heart desired. I would even say I had chilled out! LOL I like to rest and spend time in His presence every morning before I go into this stressed out world so I want His way, His timing and what He has for me. Even if it costs me something. Even if it looked like I was losing or lagging behind others.  Even if my situation isn’t ideal.  I’m not perfect in all of that but it seems like when my mind starts to go down that emotional roller coaster of missing out, the Holy Spirit redirects me back to His truth and love. I have a little journal session and I recover.
We’ve been in a rental that was supposed to be temporary 3-6 months except we’ve been here for almost a year. Our rental flooded once and almost twice. I could have pushed the issue and jumped on contracts for a new house but God closed the door or they didn’t seem right. God would put up stop signs and I HEEDED THEM THIS TIME. I would not step out or force things as I had in the past. I'm a "get it done" kind of girl so this is pretty much a water into wine or walking on water type miracle. I don't view the world or my life the same now through eyes of “hurry up” nor was I feeling like other people were getting blessings and I was left out.. 
So after giving away my spot and hoofing and huffing it down from the nose bleed section of my parking at the airport, I wasn’t bummed. I didn’t feel like I had missed an opportunity (though I battled that thought) I just repeated the entire time. God I trust you. You have a spot for me. I just knew it. I was surprised it was the roof and cost me some sweat but He DID have a spot and even if it was the last seat at the table. 
So fast forward to where we began. Sephora. The next day. I was pulling up to the stop sign. A spot opened up. I could see it. Two doors down from Sephora. But another person pulled up to her stop sign. I hesitated. Technically it was my turn. She rolled up a half second behind me. But I waved her on in front of me…hoping she wouldn’t take the spot but alas, as it usually goes, she did pull quickly in celebrating her victory and no wave for the early kindness that allowed it. I stayed at the stop sign for a second. Battling the thoughts again. I know this is completely silly and I hope you don’t have these kind of “carnal” thoughts like me but I pulled up and said out loud, “God you are so good to me. I’m just happy to be rolling with you and I know you have a spot for me.” Then, and I am not kidding, cuz there were no people walking across the street or brake lights on before this (my fellow stalkers know these parking cues well), a car began backing out and it was even closer to Sephora. YES! Thank you Jesus! and then ANOTHER CAR started backing up right directly in front. I was like YES! God, you do have a spot for me. I knew He did but I thought it might be in the back 40 again. I mean when does that happen 3 spots in 10 seconds at peak shopping time. 
The lesson learned: We don’t have to force our way, be concerned with our position compared to others, manipulate, cut others off or be afraid others will get to “our spot” first. We might be in the alternative always sitting back and waiting - being an “observer” of life because we don't really want to be obedient because it will require us to change …or we may not feel that way about ourselves but we are a “pusher” for our kid to be treated a certain way over others and they must have certain opportunities. We are VERY concerned about THEIR spot….I am by no means saying that we are not to "champion" our children but we all know there is a line and as Moms we sometimes cross it. No matter what spot issue we are having, I feel the answer is still the same. 
Be ready when the door opens and it will be a door built just for us. The enemy might steal something from us. We might have the thought that someone has stolen our door! The enemy took what was rightfully ours and that does happen. BUT God has made provision for that! The door will open up IF WE TRUST IN HIM ALONE (NOT PEOPLE)! Seek His presence. Seek the favor of His face. Be patient. Be at peace. Keep the faith. DON’T TRY TO FORCE IT or get upset at “missed opportunities.” Let the attributes of the Holy Spirit develop in you. He’s maturing His bride.  Eyes on Him. Your spot will come. It will. He’s a good Father.
"The fruit produced by the Holy Spirit
within you is divine love in all its various expressions.
This love is revealed through:
Joy that overflows,
Peace that subdues,
Patience that endures,
Kindness in action,
A life full of virtue,
Faith that prevails,
Gentleness of heart, and
Strength of spirit."
Galatians 5:22-23 TPT

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Old School Coffee

Captain: “Do you know how to make coffee?”

Setting up my galley to prepare for passengers, I look over my shoulder thinking he’s joking but his stern face told me he was, in fact, not. “Yes, I know how to make coffee.”

“Old school coffee.”

I stood there with a bland look on my face still trying to gauge the joke status: “What’s that?”

He kind of laughs and informs me that he will give me the instructions. WHAT A GUY! He went on to tell me with the meticulousness of a surgeon a step by step dissection of old school coffee prep:

“First, you warm the pot by brewing hot water only. Next, you brew the coffee with a bag in the brewer and the pot. Then you take club soda and hold it over the coffee one-one thousand, two-one thousand, three-one thousand.” He does this while opening a fake can of club soda and pretending to pour it in the coffee pot. No, I’m not making this up.

“Are you former military?” I ask with a smile.

“Yes, how did you know?”

“Just a guess. I do plan on making coffee…that sounds like a starbucks order though.”

“It’s not that difficult…” and he points to his cuff links (not making this up either) his cufflinks are B.S. and he says, “See this. I’m not in the mood for it today.” Now, he’s smiling and acting somewhat jovial but he is trying to make a point.

I respond back, “You know what that is exactly what I was thinking.” smile and I continue to set my galley set up.

My job is to serve passengers. Serving the cockpit = handing two bottled waters up front and serve meals if they are scheduled.

I stood there and asked God, “God, should I do “old school: coffee? I kind of feel like no matter what I do it won’t be “right”

“Do what you feel comfortable doing.” Alright then, I decided to run the hot water first as he mentioned even though we were in Tucson and even at 6 am it was probably a 100 degrees already but whatever. I then brewed coffee as I normally would and I laid out an extra coffee bag and club soda on the counter.

He comes back in and says, “Is the coffee ready?”
“Yes, I made coffee. It sounds like you are wanting something specific so I left your items out to make it the way you want it.”

He looks at his coffee bag and club soda and raises his voice and says, “You have to put the other bag in the coffee pot FIRST!” He feels the coffee pot. “Well, the pot is hot. At least you got that right.”

OH NO YOU DI-UH. Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. I feel my heart beat elevating and that whole fight or flight thing kicking in. I can either go toe to toe with this guy: raise my voice, get angry and then file a complaint. Any other flight attendant would have told him to get the #*&& out of her galley….OR, I can slink away or just take it. Was there another option though?

THIS IS A TEST and God has given me the answer:
The fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is divine love in all its various expressions.
This love is revealed through:
Joy that overflows,
Peace that subdues,
Patience that endures,
Kindness in action,
A life full of virtue,
Faith that prevails,
Gentleness of heart, and
Strength of spirit.
[Galatians 5:22-23] TPT
We can have PEACE in all situations even though it does not seem like it. Peace comes from within.
I’m way more on the fight/sassy side but God has been warning me of remaining in peace and not living in reaction mode. We give other people way too much power over our insides and then blame them when we lose it. I’d already had one incident and honestly I handled it outwardly well but internally I was HOT! I've been field in life in many areas by my own emotions rather than God's heart. God said very clearly right after that incident, “You cannot fight fire with fire without creating a bigger fire. Stand your ground. Remain in peace.” So I was kind of ready for this nonsense and this time I wanted to ace my test since I hadn’t nailed the first one.



So here I am. This captain being ridiculous and high maintenance trying to use his captainship as license and my flesh wants to tell him that. My indicator I was operating in the "flesh" at an injustice - I was losing my peace... but, God, I have access to operate in the fruits of the spirit. I have peace in you in all circumstances. This man does not have control of my emotions, you do. I do not receive his unrealistic expectations. So I said calmly without even a hint of sass, “You are welcome to remake it. There’s plenty of coffee.”

He huffs off angrily.

I asked God how I did and I felt His peace.

This time, my blood pressure didn’t rise to the boiling point where I had to control it, I didn’t respond with sassy or frustration, I didn’t tuck my tail or feel shame and take his treatment of me personally or paint a victim mentality picture to my husband. I felt Victorious. It was really his issue. And honestly, I don’t even think the guy was a bad guy. The enemy was using a wound in his life to try to throw me off but I stood firm. I was completely peaceful and as helpful as I felt comfortable being. I could see him as a little boy with a demanding and unpleasable father. He just didn’t know how kind God is. What a gentle Father he has in Heaven.

Some of you might say (like my husband did) “That guys a jerk or he needs to be put in his place… He can’t talk to you that way.” And you are right but I don’t have to control him or prove anything, I have to please my Father and I did.

My daughter didn’t know about this situation when she gave me a word. “I feel like God is saying that in a staring contest with the devil you win.”

I got it then. If the enemy can get me distracted. Acting in the flesh. With my eyes on him then I’m sunk. I’m out of peace. BUT if I choose to keep my focus fixed and unswerving on God and His love then the enemy can’t play games with my emotions. #UnshakableLove #AllEyezOnJesus Others don't define us- only God can do that!

I am not promoting leaving yourself in an abusive situation. NOT AT ALL! Get out! There's a lot to be said for standing up and speaking truth.

I believe many of us are in a season of testing. Remain in peace. Don’t take what the world throws at you inside your heart.
There are things in our life that aren’t working: the way we respond to our spouse, or feeling frustrated when things don’t go our way or aren’t perfect, or our attitude about work stinks (yep all those fit me but I’m sure you have your own). Try something new. Ask God how He wants you to adjust so you do what He would do.

Can you bridle your tongue when your heart is under pressure? That's how you show you are wise. An understanding heart keeps you cool, calm and collected no matter what you are facing." Proverbs 17:27
He’s maturing us. The tests show us what is in our heart and refine us until we come forth as gold. Until we look like Him.