The Turds of Life

For those who think my life as a flight attendant is a glamorous adventure, that's only about 10% true for me.
#iknowpoorme
#igettotraveltheworld
#andgetpaidtodoit
#feelsorryforme
#wahwah

Why am I not living the dream but yet somehow I still know I am exactly where I am supposed to be? 

How to explain…Do you want the good, the bad or the ugly first? I like to save the best for last but you can go to your designated paragraph below as you see fit.

THE BAD & THE UGLY
First, flying these days is pretty “un-glam.” FA life may have been glamorous back in the good old days with their white gloves and cute little hats. People were grateful for the miracle of being able to FREAKING fly rather than walk everywhere. For the ability to cross the continents in hours rather than months.  #realitycheck

Today, for the most part, people aren't grateful. More along the lines of entitled, impatient and demanding. MYSELF INCLUDED (see my previous blog on throat punching) It’s a challenging process to get 200-ish people to sit down and play nice not to mention when the weather or broken airplanes interfering with all our plans.

FA life is a lot of dealing with crying babies (which I love actually) or adults acting like them #dontlove, working with temperamental crew, getting a call from my supervisor for a 2 minute delay, many long days with short nights, creepy pilots who make me feel yucky with their comments (many are great, kind, respectful but i always remember the turds) 

Speaking of turds, there is the gross factor of the job (if you have a weak stomach like many of my flyers do then skip to next paragraph). There are occasions on the job where flight attendants have to deal with them.  Yep, recently there’s been a lot of dog crap since everyone and their dog ;) has a “service animal.”  

We have to clean up throw up from trembling tummies.  When people "miss" in the lav, which happens quite often, I have to clean it up...gurrrrooooossss. One time another flight attendant had to clean up some lady’s boils that burst during out flight. I was a coward, I chose to be the “runner” and get all the stuff and then I hid in the lav…So so gross but it’s a TRUE STORY. Glamorous? Not the word that comes to my mind.

I feel untethered with this job. This whole thing has actually been pretty scary. I am free falling. Not a great feeling. Held up only by His grace. My comfort gone, I have only His hand to grasp for. His protection to keep me safe. I don't want to leave my family or my comfort zone. In the past I’ve had panic attacks when I stayed alone at night and still struggle with that occasionally. So yes I love to travel for free, but I DO NOT want to do it alone or do it by serving someone as their waitress.  #iknow #myprivilegeisshowing#beinghonest #youdonthavetocallmeout #ialreadydidit

Enough about the ugly. Take the above as the dark underbelly of flight attendant-ing but it’s worth it. There’s beauty in it. Keep reading. 

THE HOOK
So why did I do it?
One reason only.
Because He asked me to.
He didn’t say it would be easy, There have been many, many, many times I wanted to quit. Just this week actually.

When this all began, I heard Him say very clearly, “You can change the atmosphere on an airplane” and I said right back "pretty cool but I don’t want to do that.” I kept praying and He kept confirming. Then I decided it was just a test. Like Abraham took Isaac to sacrifice but then God said NAH Ne'er mind. I got this. Just wanted to check ya heart. Surely God would not MAKE me to do this since it’s not my dream. He asked me to so I kept taking steps of obedience and the doors kept literally “flying” open. Guess what? It wasn’t a test. ;) #3yearslater

WHY ME GOD?
Why did God want me to do something I clearly didn’t want to do? Was He being a meany-butt? No! It was more along the lines of when your parents want you to eat vegetables, but they know full well you despise vegetables because they don’t taste like ice cream :) or like when you have to push past the pain of trying to train an out of shape body. 

My kryptonite... or the vegetable I avoid...is serving. #kindofmandatorytofollowJC
This job has allowed me a plethora of opportunities to serve others especially with people who aren’t grateful
On my list of gifts, serving is always last. dead last. That and mercy. I get to learn both while flying. #YAYME :(
#servingisonlyformyfamilyornicepeople
#ifyousaypleaseandthanksyouandareniceIwilldoit
#notnice
#youcandoityodamnself

At the last supper, right before Jesus gave His life for me, He put on an APRON and washed dirty feet even Judas's feet. Yep, the same dude who would that evening turn him into the religious po-po. For the joy before Him, Jesus ENDURED the cross. #obedienceuntodeath#obediencerequiressacrifice #Hedidntloveit #butHelovedus

So daily I die. Die to my fears. Die to my anti-serving attitude. Die to my pride that maybe somehow I'm above picking up dog crap or serving someone who would be mean to me. 

I think of it like high school or college. I hate math but I need it to get my degree. Even if I’m not great at it, I gotta get through it and do the work. I must learn how to Serve to pass my GED #GodEngineeredDesign#gottalooklikeHim

So no for me it's not some grand adventure. 

Many people come to me because they want to be a flight attendant. I think maybe for them it won’t be the same experience. They are fluent in servanthood and will really shine at this job. We all have our unique“perspective” and walk with God as our Daddy. #wouldgladlyswitchplaceswithyouifIcouldthough Don’t let all this dissuade you from pursuing it.  #Keepreading.  #Almosttothegoodpart

THE GOOD (FInally!) 

When I fly with Him I see the most beautiful miracles in Him and in His creation. For all the messiness in the world, love still makes all of my life and doing this so so beautiful.  #imayfussabit but I will gladly take the messy to see His miracles.
And there are so many miracles.
He does it nearly every flight if I don't get negative or self focused. I get to encourage and pray peace over the airplane. I believe that every sacrifice, produces a harvest. So the harder the flight for me, the stronger I become and the stronger the Spirit of God soars #likepumpingiron#spiritualmusclesgrow #imustbesupermanbynow ;)

Sometimes things in life don’t FEEL amazing but they lead to and PRODUCE amazing results. Am I right or am I right?  ;)

Like motherhood. Sick babies with snotty noses, poopy diapers, lack of sleep, fretting, missing them when they are gone, school, the schedules, the back talk. It's lots of work and sacrifice but also extraordinarily fantastic.
Like when you get to see your kiddo shine, or when you hold your child close to your heart and you know they are safe and peaceful. When they place their hand in yours and smile at you. Give you kisses and hugs. When you hear their laugh…We forget the trauma or drama of motherhood but it doesn't necessarily make it an easy job. It’s worth it. Every second of it. #dieingtoyourwantsforwhatyoulove

Or marriage. It’s all sunshine and roses until you feel misunderstood or mistreated. When one or both get selfish and want it THEIR WAY ALL THE WAY. When you can no longer believe the best about your partner, staying and praying feels like death. Sometimes it does have to die because it takes two willing hearts to make a connection. But sometimes it doesn’t have to die. When TWO people choose covenant and choose each other. They stay even when it hurts them to do it. They watch the death of their desires turn into something beautiful and enduring. Obedience to keep our promise can cost us dearly but it turns into a beautiful crazy love story with lasting fruit for generations to come. 

HOPE

His Presence partners with my perseverance. The peace He brings to the souls on board. Every city I go to I claim it for the Kingdom. I keep a journal and write down the words He declares. In faith, usually exhausted, I then speak them out from my hotel room window. I keep track of the creepy pilots and sic JC on them to renovate their hearts and marriages. I write down a list of those who need Jesus most in the back of that journal and ask God for their salvation. SO MANY GOOD THINGS HAPPEN THAT FAR OUTWEIGH MY DISCOMFORT. 

Sometimes I get to see it. They are brief moments but I hold on to these moments. Like being able to pray for a young girl who lost her father and didn't know if she could believe he was in heaven. Or the gay guy who was so scared of being rejected, he lived in constant fear. The overly religious woman. Her pastor husband married someone in his YOUTH group. She didn’t understand how to forgive and love again. The toothless smiles of children who I give a coloring book that says “YOU ARE LOVED” on the cover. The peace that I have to give to scared unaccompanied minors, I get to protect and pray for silently usually traveling because of divorce. The older woman who was incredibly testy and rude who demanded a blanket and water without a please or thank you when I brought it. Her husband came to the galley and broke down as he asked me to forgive her. They were going to pick up their dead son’s body. So I simply can’t…for all my whining…get past the beauty He’s created out of this somewhat challenging time. The good far outweighs the bad. I would and will continue to do it as long as He asks me to.

Are you in a season that isn’t pretty? Things don’t look like what you dreamed and hoped for? If so, I get it! Please don’t lose faith. Sit down and have a good cry but GET BACK UP again. God has GOOOD PLANS for you, friend. GREAT plans. Greater than you can imagine. It will be worth the wait! 

You find Him beyond your fears. It’s not faith unless you are willing to lose sight of the shore. 

If you feel led, pray or sing this: “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could every wander and my faith will be made stronger in the Presence of my Savior…You call me out upon the waters. The great unknown where feet may fail and there I find You in the mystery. In oceans deep, my faith will stand. I will call upon your Name. Keep my eyes above the waves. My soul will rest in your embrace for I am Yours and You are mine.”
lyrics by Hillsong 

SIDENOTE: Thinking about becoming a flight attendant. A couple of things God shared with me

Flying is symbolic:
1- Airplanes were used as a weapon to bring death and destruction on 9/11 BUT GOD will use them to resurrect life in people and be glory bringing tools. (So if you feel like you are being called to fly, do it! But do it knowing, you're a soldier and soldiers have to fight the good fight of faith.)
2-You are closer to the heavenlies and you have a different view of the world and its problems. #miracleshappenontheairplane

I pray for His divine appointments and that you make the friendly skies a lot friendlier. I pray His blessings on you and open doors so you can bring His Light and glory to the sad and hurting. VAYA CON DIOS #GowithGod