You Okay?

You okay?  

Tanner was just a wee little pooh bear (there’s a double meaning in that poo/pooh;)  and he struggled with asthma. We had inhalers, breathing treatments, lots of doctor appointments, etc.  I would go up at night and put my hand on his chest to make sure he was breathing okay.  #obsessivecompusive That week he had been wheezing, stuffy, fever and the asthma was flaring up again so we went to the doctor.  More bronchitis.  We picked up another round of antibiotics at the pharmacy.  

I didn’t want him to go to his dad’s that weekend but alas it wasn’t my choice. One of the many yucky things associated with divorce.  Stressed about his health but I sent him off with his gallon zip log baggie carefully labeled with specific instructions for the medication.  

I texted him to remind him to take one of the prescriptions.  Of course I feigned the text was saying hi.

-Hey pooh, how’s it going?  all good?  don’t forget to take your meds :) you have your inhaler, right? love, mom

Tan:

-good. I don’t have my medicine here.

MY heart came to a screeching halt.  WHAT????  What if he had an asthma attack? trying to remain calm.

-i’m at the apartment of one of my dad’s girlfriends neighbors.  they went out. it’s so cool.  we are babysitting.  

-we? who’s we?

-another girl is helping me babysit her baby brother.  don’t worry, she’s 12.  

Hold the phone.  I mean does this sound like a good idea to you?  To anyone?  A twelve year old girl and an eleven year old boy who is sick…who just met and are now BABYSITTING a toddler?

-What apartments?  What is the friends name? What if you need your inhaler??  Youre 11.  You can’t babsit.  Where is your dad?

NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Thankful I had an open line of communication through his phone to make sure he was okay but then the texts suddenly stopped.  I was beside myself.  I called.  Repeatedly.  It went directly to voicemail.  No communication.  No connection.  My mind went to the worst case scenario and he didn’t have his inhaler.  

I knew a little bit about the girlfriend. I got in my car and started driving the hour and 15 minutes in her direction.  I had no plan but I knew I had to be closer to my son.   I ended up at the Waxahachie police station.  I knocked on the window until a dispatcher peeked around the corner.  She called a cop who impolitely told me what my ex did on his own time was not my concern.  He got another call and had to leave. 

I sat in the chair of the empty waiting room of the police station with my head in my hands.   I wasn’t crying.  I was waiting, praying, strategizing how to find Tanner. Finally a guy walked through the door who had a couple more stripes on his shoulders than the first cop.  

“Can I help you?”

“I hope so.”  I explained. He listened.  Really listened.

“I’m a parent and I can’t imagine how scary this must be for you.  I don’t think there’s much I can do for you though.”  It was 1 a.m. 

“I’m worried he might be sick and need his inhaler. I have to know he is okay.” I knew there would be no sleep for me until I heard his little raspy voice.

“Alright. Give me all the information you have and I will see what I can do.”

He came back a few minutes later.  He would send an officer to do a welfare check on him at the address they had.  Within 30 minutes my son called me back from an officer’s phone.  "You okay?" He wasn’t wheezing and gasping for a breath as I feared. I got to hear his voice on the phone.  It was such a sweet sound.  He was safe. I cried then.  

I remember when I was out literally raising hell just a short few years before this incident…but then my heart was awakened to Jesus.  So the same kids I was now so protective of, I had left at my mom’s while I partied…. so you know there’s no stones being thrown or self righteous attitude towards my ex in this.  

The Father's Love pursues us like this.  I truly JUST wanted to know my son was okay and I wouldn’t rest until I knew.    That’s how God advocates for you. How protective He is.   Instead of feeling out of control or full of "fears" God is “fierce.”   He is fighting to get to us to set us free from anything that keeps us from Him.  He will have no rest until He finds us. He is waiting on that bench just like I was and like a mother or father would be who couldn’t get in touch with their child.  

Pooh Bear, My little buckethead

Even if we turn our back on him, he is demanding that the enemy not go too far.  Whether someone else has put us in a bad situation or we’ve done it to ourselves, we’ve been tricked by the enemy, it doesn't matter. God will come for us through His people to bring comfort and rescue.  He’s sending his own “police,” people who carry His authority and concern, in to our hell so He can do a welfare check. He sent a woman to me when I was going through yet ANOTHER divorce.  She gave me a devotional that I promptly threw in the backseat of my car but that seed planted started growing until I opened my heart to Him. 

Sometimes we picture God as cold, emotionless, uncaring, uninvolved but I know differently.  The heart that beats now in my chest that made me so desperate to re-establish communication with my son is His.    So question:  Are you okay? Have you talked to God today?  Give him a call.  It would mean the world to Him to hear your voice.   #justtalktoHim #itssosimple #dontcomplicate