A friend was asking me if she should date a particular guy. I didn’t really get a heavenly thumbs up or thumbs down. I thought about calling Miss Cleo to see what she might say… I’m not sure if she’s still around ;) but seriously it would be nice to know if things were going to work out BEFORE we make ourselves vulnerable to another. God was showing me how truly UNCOMPLICATED relationships are from His view and I shared it with her.
***He’s looking for two willing hearts and His blessings will flow. If there are two, it’s enough.***
WHEN IT’S COMPLICATED
It CANNOT be that simple, God! but I’m realizing how true this is. Whether it be in friendship, parents/adult children relationships, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, families, He’s looking for TWO people who will BOTH keep soft hearts towards each other. It won’t work with one.
HOLIDAY RELATIONSHIPS
I have someone that I desperately desire a close relationship with. It hurts my heart. Like my old habit of going to church, we have a “holiday” relationship: I’ll see you at Christmas or Easter. ;) Each time, I let them close, everything becomes about them, their needs, their problems. We all have seasons of life like that but this isn’t a season this is a way of life and relating. They don’t have the ability to see me they are so lost in their own pain and needs… and as many times as I share with them that this relationship needs to be good for both of us, they don’t get it and it becomes all about them once again. Each time I let them in to get comfy in the home of my heart, they poop on my new rug. ;) I’m looking forward to the day where this relationship can be two willing and giving hearts. I will keep my heart soft and willing and wait until that day.
If relationships are potluck dinners, everyone has to A. show up and B. bring a dish… oh, and adults don’t poop on the rug and leave it there for others to pick up! See that’s where it gets complicated. On this earth, we hurt each other. It’s a me, me, me mentality. We can do a heart check with relationships: Do I only have a willing heart in this relationship if and when it benefits me?
SHE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
What if ONE of the TWO becomes unwilling?
I had a long term friendship that for no good reason just went kaput last year. We were pretty tight at one point. We still ran in the same circle of friends but she would avoid me, not make eye contact, intentionally exclude me. I tried to get together with her because she was being pretty overt about it or maybe just completely ignoring me but it was becoming awkward. Have I offended you? Overstepped one of your boundaries? If you won’t tell me what I’ve done to hurt you or harm our relationship then I can’t very well make it right, can I? Did I poop on your rug? Not bring my pot luck dish to the relationship? Her answer: no, it’s nothing. After our talk, she removed herself from something we were both part of and unfriended me. I do have an idea of what happened now and quite honestly I’m good with the friendship ending. I asked God, “Should I continue to pursue this friendship? I know it makes your heart happy when your girls get along. Should I say I’m sorry for something? Search my heart, God. Is there anything I can do to reconcile this and make it right again?” I’m not even kidding this song came on at the exact time that I was thinking about it: “And I'm done hoping that we can work it out, I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels. Letting you drag my heart around.” AND THEN IT BECAME EVEN MORE CLEAR- I SAW HER RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME IN HER CAR!!!! WHAT? God, you are good. He knows our heart and whether others are willing…so I had my answer. Even if our heart is soft, we cannot control other people or “make” them like us and it’s really a blessing to not have that angst. When one is doing all the work, I would call that thread of connection unequally yoked. Amos 3:3 :”Can TWO people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” Jennifer’s version of that scripture: How can two people hug if only one is reaching out?
LAMPREY LOVE
When my husband and I were apart and considering reconciliation, I prayed hard. I heard God say, “I will move Heaven and earth to restore a covenant if two people are willing.” Well, I thought that was a HUGE THUMBS UP! but guess what…Marriage is still a challenge. Not too terribly long ago, God showed me a picture of two lampreys trying to latch on to each other and suck the life out of each other…That was a picture of what was going on in our relationship. When someone is soft with us, it’s not so we can take advantage and drain them. Lamprey love is self centered love. Our razor sharp teeth HURT each other’s soft hearts! Luke 22:38 And they said, “Look, Lord, here are two swords.” And he said to them, “It is enough.” So pick up your sword and fight for each other not against each other.
UNITY OF WILLING HEARTS
Last week, I was super anxious about something in my life and each time I would think about it, I would get panicky. I felt like ants were crawling in my pants and making me do the boogie dance. I didn’t know how to stop the anxiety. The scripture came to mind: “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” (Is.26:3) I decided that every time anxiety gripped me, I would remind myself of this promise from Him and I would say, “I trust you, God.” I did that for a few days and then I realized that the ants had retreated from my britches. I felt so peaceful.
I met with a friend one day for lunch… I told her what I’d been going through and she handed me the pre-printed scripture she brought for me that day-itwas all about being anxious for nothing and God’s peace (phil.4:6-7). THEN (same day) I get a text from a girl sharing something she heard from God for me. We don’t talk every day so this felt like a sweet kiss from God. She gave me THE EXACT scripture God had given me the week before with an added little sweetness-that He was proud of me! This is the kind of things that flow through soft and willing hearts without jealousy and judgments.
I think it makes God’s heart so happy when He finds two soft hearts that are willing to invest and give! That’s where you see the beauty of love in miracles and the magic of God unleashed. Unity is a place where His glory can dwell. Psalm 133:1-2 How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity! For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil that was poured over Aaron's head, that ran down his beard and onto the border of his robe." Maybe I should grow a beard this fall? #forlove #addingtothetodolist
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